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| AluminumMuse 2007-05-06 ch 1, | abusePretty good, but in the first paragraph the word tendancy doesn't seem to fit. Also, in the second paragraph, you say that you were 'wearing nothing but a t-shirt and some shorts.' That's a sort of 'she had nothing on her feat but two sox and two shoes...' I don't think you need the word nothing if you go into a bit more detail about the stains themselves. |
| CHIIJOY 2007-02-07 ch 1, | abuse"..his life had sputtered and popped too soon..." I love the imagery you create with this story and the metaphor between the boy's life and the glass--the fragility of human existance? emotions? I wonder. Great job. :D |
| Awake 2006-10-27 ch 1, | abuseWow... Just... Wow! That ws amazig! Just a little story, and I even had little tears forming in my eyes! I lov the metaphor, with the Holding glass, and Life... It's pretty awesome! |
| SpawnMeister666 2006-10-02 ch 1, | abuseThis is an interesting piece. Very well written, and conveys a lot in such a short piece of writing. Very impressed. Spawny |
| Cara Deanna 2006-10-01 ch 1, | abuseXD omg i loved it. it was a short simple one shot that wasn't at all simple. it was complex and wonderful... and i'm sounding all weird... but i did love it. it was amaseing |