wow. i really like this.

everything flows, all the words and sentences and, wow! i like the words you chose. i don't know if it's because english is not my first language, but they're beautiful.

very imagery.. um, how can i say it? i don't know, the first two sentences reminded me of a kaleidoscope, some kind of dream.. i love it.

I like the surreal images- like some underwater bond intro, but poetic. they work very well with the 'shirking' that you're describing. nice job.

reminds me of an unrequited emotion.

this is such a well written piece. It slides and slips and twists and turns from image to image, a kalidoscope of feelings and descriptions working together to great this atmosphere of confusion...why this person wont look them in the eye.

" hands are quiet: they restin the back of my mind "...this is beautiful, and a great example of how you transition this images into each other.

beautifully written.

this is gorgeous and so are you

-naomi

this is just gorgeous, as always. i love the imagery of 'swimming through the haze of a thousand changing colors' - beautifully written. 'our enigmatic starburst of light' - gorgeous line. for some reason, (through dark and swaying bodies) is especially powerful in parenthesis - a strong effect, and the last line is perfection. definitely a favorite.

this poem is so distorted, but amazingly so. it's just so beautiful, the images change and blend and shine and tilt&bend and it's just so beautiful. wonderfully written, and the longing in there is so crystal clear. this is a poem that has many clear colors ... it reminds me of a kaliedoscope.

Dear God, how I wish I could write like that. Every single word is so perfect. You can see it. It's sad, but written beautifully..

could i ever spin to think

reminds me of silk in watercolorful silk

and the thought, it is under friendshipinteresting