I find the way you use the word 'you' in place of 'I' to represent the protagonist, very interesting. It makes me feel like you are telling the story to me and at the same time ordering me to imagine myself as the you. On the other hand because I read the story and I feel as if I am the one who is reading the story to someone else and it gives a certain feeling of detachment.Very interesting sentences. Is this a one shot? I think you do a good work on this piece.