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| Katherine-the-greate 2007-11-17 ch 1,  | abusenice introduction. are you going to update your story or have you decided to discontinue it? |
| Tatiana Moore 2006-11-10 ch 7, | abuseAnother good chapter. Your dialogue is very well done. I think I'd like to see a little more scenery, of what's going on around them, what the old house looks like, what the slaves look like, etc. Waiting for your next chapter (which I will now be alerted on!) :)T |
| Tatiana Moore 2006-11-10 ch 6, | abuse"I yelled to my insides" sounds kinda funny. Maybe "I screamed in my head"? What were Gabriel's thoughts when all of this was going on? The fight ended and everyone seemed so nonchalant after that. I know you can't really go into what was really going on in his head, but you could have Marianne trying to gauge his expressions, etc. |
| Tatiana Moore 2006-11-10 ch 4, | abusegood chapter... not much to say other than that ;) Moving on!! |
| Tatiana Moore 2006-11-10 ch 3, | abuseI'm glad her father stepped in... but I wonder if he's got some ulterior motives. ;( Ah Gabriel's back... I think I'm going to like him. But we'll see, you could shock me. I know it's a touchy subject her being molested like that, but I think that you could really dig deep into her feelings about it; to really show us her desperation and need to be free of her "uncle". Good chapter. |
| Tatiana Moore 2006-11-10 ch 2, | abuseYou know... I have you on my favorites but I don't have you on my author alerts! :c( I've missed some good stuff! But dont' worry I'm going to read and catch up. I like where you're going with this. I wondered a couple of times if Louis should be Louise or maybe Lois. How do you pronounce her name? Also, the very last line in this chapter "Gabriel smiled as he watched me blend into the crowd"... as a first person story, she may not know this unless she was watching him. Make sense? Well Dawn, I'm adding you to my author alert list now... silly me! :) Looking forward to Chp 2. |
| Vampire Queen 13 2006-11-03 ch 6, | abuseHave you studied vampires or something? I just realized that them being bastards means that they will become vampires when they die no matter what according to Romanian tradition (search strigoi viu to find out if you haven't and it's just coincidence). |
| Vampire Queen 13 2006-10-08 ch 7, | abuseNice idea, having famous historical figures have illegitimate kids who fall in love. Good so far. Now where do the vampires come in? |
| notthecreepyfatguy 2006-10-08 ch 5, | abuseI was reading this and then the Thomas Paine thing hit me! That is amazing! You put so much history into your writing it just astounds me! |
| notthecreepyfatguy 2006-10-08 ch 4, | abuseMy heart jumped into my throat while they were escaping. I love the idea of Tituba and the witch trials, also te part about releasing the slaves. You are an incredibly creative writer. |
| notthecreepyfatguy 2006-10-08 ch 3, | abuseStupid Louis...I cant wait for the next chapter! |
| notthecreepyfatguy 2006-10-08 ch 2, | abuseUgh I hate that Louis guy! He's such a stupid bigot ** of a man! Sorry I get really passionate about stories and I really hate child abuse. I think that is sick. You really amazed me though. You spelled out all the horrors of that time perfectly and set this up to be an amazing story. |
| notthecreepyfatguy 2006-10-08 ch 1, | abuseOh I love stories about vampires and with your amazing style of writing this is sure to be absoulutally(sp?) amazing! |