aw so sad!!

i like it!

it's so pure, and full of the innocence a child has...

hey.. once again.. gud job..

this is bittersweet & sad. you've portrayed the little childs innocence & naivety beautifully. I f i were you though,i would either do the 4 stanza thing or unstructured stanzas, but its always a bit dangerous mixing the two. lovely work though. ~Bex xx

Wow, I like that. It's really sad!! I do agree with the stanza thing. I like to do 4 lines per stanza, but that's just me. I think it's interesting in this poem, the rhyme scheme (ever 2nd and 4th line, right?)gives the poem a sort of ironic, jaunty feel compared to the story.good work!

I wasn't laughing when I got finished! Almost want to cry actually...FIRST: Sad story. Really good sad story. Make sense? I liked it, it was just sad.SECOND: I don't know if this is just me, but I think maybe you should use a more definite pattern when putting your poems together. You know like setting up stanzas or something? I know what I mean but I'm not making sense I think... anyway email if you have questions.