Author,

I really enjoyed the suspense of not knowing what was ailing you until the end? And the I felt your use of words like 'simple', 'mere' and 'small' was powerful. See, to most of us these words describe our ungrateful lives... but to a special few life means so much more.

And you speak of the word Diabetes, not the disease. So it lends me the idea that its admitting it exists that hurts more than actually having it.

Your poetry is great!

Viscera.

I think the poem does a good job of portraying the feelings of loss after being diagnosed with a medical problem. I know everytime I found out I needed another surgery I kept thinking about the things I wouldn't be able to do. Good job.

I love how you've phrased the problem here, and I don't think you've dramatized it at all. I have friends who have had diabetesin childhood, and I know (at least a little) how painful it can be at that age. You've exhibited that now-lost childish innocence very well when you say : "I wish Mom prolonged my blissful world,/so that for one more day I'd be free of pain". It's a very touching poem. Kudos.

Please write more. Your writing gets better with every piece!

This was so touching. One of my best friends in the world is diabetic and I'm always struck by what she has to go through every day. Thank you for sharing.

It's very metaphorical, but your metaphors are extremely literal. Different, but in a good way. The poem gives a definetely feeling of being trapped by this disease, which you were going for, of course. I like this line: "A mere treat of the mouth can ruin me, dependent I am on the syringe’s tip,"

That was good. The wording is very descriptive. It reminds of myself, though I don't have diabetes but different 'problem.' It's a moving piece of work. Good job.

this is really sad. it really shows how painful diabetes is. how everything is being taken away (or "robbed" as you put it) and how unfair it is. nice work.

So I read your profile and found out that I should probably leave along with a thank you. lol We can really feel your words, it must be difficult to be diabetic. I had a friend once who was and she always had to watch what she ate. Anyway cool write I really like the second line.

Wow. That's amazing, AH (I'm calling you that, by the way. xD). I'm not quite sure what to say. By the vocabulary, it was obvious that this was a well-thought poem, and the imagery was wonderful. Fantastic job on this.

That was moving really good poem

So sad. Your description was very vivid and creative. Good job. :)

yeah...that's majorly deperessing stuff...and personally i think that karma is out to get me. and it won't stop at nothing. at least that's what it feels like...i'll explain later. talk to you soon.

- breezy

Hm. This is quite the interesting poem. I really liked how you snuck in a rhyming scheme amidst your poem. I really like the references to imprisonment and describing everything in such a...vibrant and creative way. The ending was powerful. Your poem was sort of like one of those cryptic puzzles or mystery novels where you got hints along the way about the end...and then you get to the end and realize: ohmygosh! So THAT's that she was talking about...well, you know, I'm not that bright. So it worked on me. You did a really good job here. Great job!

And thanks for reviewing my haiku in sarah1491's collection. I appreciate it.

Whoa, so sad. How you described it makes it seem so horrible, although I don't think it is, because I know people with both types of the disease. I like how you described how fearful you were when you found out you had it. It was wonderful. :)

- Sarah

P.S I am Canadian too! Yay! Haha, I'm patriotic too :P hehe.

Nicely written, I like this poem. Emotional, with some good thoughts. Great, and keep writing.