sad, well done... nice personification in the begining

I think stanzas would really help this piece. I know it's hard to figure out formatting on FP but if you got to quickedit and backspace all the spaces FP creates then enter your own for stanzas then that should work.

In regards to the language, I like half of it. Some of it does need a bit more to interest the reader. Simply listing "your laugh, your smile" is a bit boring, try to figure out what is unique about that laugh, that smile and add it to the piece. The ending is a bit blase too, just "I miss you". How do you miss them?

Also, if you're going to sometimes use capital letters and punctuation without using it for emphasis, then it's best to go the whole way and capitalise everything that needs to be and puncuate the whole piece.

Hopefully this has been helpful. I did like a lot of what you had to say.

.:midnight:.