 phantom-jedi 2006-10-10 . chapter 1A good use of an old fairy tale. One critism for you: it doesn't flow quite as well as it could. Try reading it aloud sometime: most poems have a cadence to them, a rhythm that drives it forward with the words. Not so much syllable count, but the stress on each word.
That said, it was a good poem. Keep it up!
phantom_jedi |