The only 'sad' thing I can possibly see in this is "Shadowed in darkness." Otherwise... I can't see what you mean.

I read the other reviews and I completely agree with your second reviewer, one Pauperized Princess. There was no feeling behind this. Yes, it can describe a vampire, but, right now, it's just words.

If you want to re-write this, I would suggest focusing on certain lines and going from there. "Blood dripping down his chest" is a good place to start. "Shadowed in darkness" is another. Take those two lines and just start again. Forget about this poem and just write something new.

Plus, add length. You aren't giving yourself much room to write with these six lines. Expand, please.

Honestly, I mean this to help. If you're offended, I apologize. Sometimes you just need to hear this. I had to for my vampire story.

Felicia.

p.s. Please don't write your titles in all capital letters. It doesn't look as nice when everything's capitalized.

I like it. Would u want to be in my C2. That would be a great poem for it. Anyway, smiles...


TK

I disgree with the first review. Yes, it's short. But some poems are better off short. I think this is great! Keep writing.

No offense, but that was rather dull. It lacked descriptiveness and emotion, and was strikingly short. It seems as if you simply tossed a bunch of words relating to vampires and then called it a poem. :( Sorry, I don't mean to be so cruel, I'm just trying to give you some... constructive criticism. :D

I love vampires! Very nice.