I was just randomly perusing sections, and I saw this story. I thought "hey! A stoner story! Wicked!" hehe.

I really enjoyed this, you conveyed a great feeling of the times. This reminded me a lot of "Dazed and Confused", and your characters were realistic and obviously classic stoners. :)

A few typos here and there, but nothing to be concerned about, nothing a quick spell check can't fix.

...I wish I had a cabin!
But anyways, great job, I'll keep an eye out for updates!

the coffee fiend

Hey,

I think this story has a lot of potential, but it does need some changes.It feels a little too much like a Cheech and Chong episode with fewer jokes for me. Remember, this might be just be me; but right now it feels like you're at an uncomfortable place between comedy and drama. It also feels a bit like you're writing a script. There is almost too much dialogue and too little description in places.

On the other hand, you have a lot of great humorous lines. You should keep most of those, in my opinion. The song references are also neat, as well as the way the characters discuss the bands, with some of them liking said bands and others hating them (which is accurate to life where there are no universal opinions). You also make me feel like I'm in the 70s. A very accurate feeling.

To sum things up, if you want to write a really great 70s stoner story, read some Hunter S. Thompson, especcialy his Classic "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas".

Keep writing dude and thanks for the review on my story.

I'm glad to see someone dabbling in a different era, and you've certainly got your ** together, but there are moments when the dialogue is clearly you, and not your character. No kid would have EVER said "This is the 70s. A lot of people think were cool, so we need our own cool phrases." Most of the adults I've encountered had the opinion that the 70's were pretty lame, just like kids in this day and age aren't too impressed with our generation.

Try and keep the nostalgia to the italics, which is your narrator speaking from a later date, and out of the main text.

Otherwise, great job!

Cool chapter, word man. And I agree The N-word is just a word, a word that I'm not going to type in since I may get in trouble (lol). “Sure man. Oh, can I see your green card?”--heh, priceless.

...he asked us, "be you angels?"

and we said "nay! we are but men!

rock!"

aka Mitternacht

Anshinritsumai.

Hmm...I felt like the first chapter was a real representative of the time. I remember hearing about that era from my dad...it was such a sad time for his family because the drug and sex revolution really just tore his family apart.

As of yet, I can't tell whether this story is blasting drugs, advocating them, or just plain being neutral/telling a story. You use the F-word a lot...but your dialogue does sound real accurate. Good job!

Daymn, good story. The humor is in the story, plus the dialogue was great. "“** man. I don’t have a lighter. Quick man, rub some sticks together or something. I’m not going back sober.”--rub some sticks... now that's a good line.

See ya!

aka Mitternacht~ Fre.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.dom!

hm... and just a test if this works: o

Anshinritsumai