I think the opening of a story is one of the most important parts, granted the rest has to be equally as captivating. But this doesn't mean that action needs to be constant, but good writing needs to be consistent. I read the first two paragraphs, and I was far from captivated, I wasn't drawn in, and it just felt to me like one of those stories that has been written a thousand times. The story may be good, but it certainly seems you've struggled to get it down in to words, and almost lazily described settings and characters.

LOL

I feel in this chapter you rushed it. You did not give enough information about where Mark is and what he is feeling. I know you probably won't change the chapter because of one review but keep that in mind

I like this chapter because it makes you think about the previous chapters. Keep this up and you will have an amazing story.

I love this prologue so much! It is filled with adrenaline, and leaves you hanging. I think this will be a page turning book! So far there is nothing at all I would change.

hi !

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A few things I've noticed: There are numerous spelling and grammatical errors in your writing. For instance, you use "weather" instead of "whether" and you use commas where you should use periods in a lot of places. Also, your tenses are inconsistent. Technically speaking, I think there is a lot of room for improvement in your writing.

Creatively speaking, there a few things that are blown out of proportion. For instance, Hernandez's reaction to the radio in the car. If you like, I can elaborate more for you in an email or PM.

But, despite these things, I think the idea behind the story is a very good one. The plot seems to be moving a little fast, but pace can be another part of the suspense and you do a good job of keeping track of more than one storyline. I'm looking forward to seeing how you bring them all together.

Amazing, Please finish. Great story plot and great character introduction. Historical knowledge is also appreciated. Great use of the story. Keep Going!

Great chapter! I love Robert Frost's poems! Nice choice and I enjoyed the way everything was explained! Can't believe this is only the 4th review!

Wow! Only two reviews? Bloody hell, this deserves more! That's why I've added it to my C2 whatever you call it called Over The Edge. That good, trust me...

wow, good story! keep writing, it looks promising!

I cannot believe that no reviews have been submitted as yet! This story has made a very promising start so far, and I've enjoyed the suspense in this piece so far. Keep writing!