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| Twinkerdom 2007-04-10 ch 9,  | abuseA few things I've noticed: There are numerous spelling and grammatical errors in your writing. For instance, you use "weather" instead of "whether" and you use commas where you should use periods in a lot of places. Also, your tenses are inconsistent. Technically speaking, I think there is a lot of room for improvement in your writing. Creatively speaking, there a few things that are blown out of proportion. For instance, Hernandez's reaction to the radio in the car. If you like, I can elaborate more for you in an email or PM. But, despite these things, I think the idea behind the story is a very good one. The plot seems to be moving a little fast, but pace can be another part of the suspense and you do a good job of keeping track of more than one storyline. I'm looking forward to seeing how you bring them all together. |
| Sarrrawr 2007-02-06 ch 9, | abuseAmazing, Please finish. Great story plot and great character introduction. Historical knowledge is also appreciated. Great use of the story. Keep Going! |
| Endsville 2006-11-10 ch 9, | abuseGreat chapter! I love Robert Frost's poems! Nice choice and I enjoyed the way everything was explained! Can't believe this is only the 4th review! |
| Endsville 2006-10-29 ch 1, | abuseWow! Only two reviews? Bloody hell, this deserves more! That's why I've added it to my C2 whatever you call it called Over The Edge. That good, trust me... |
| R8R 2006-10-29 ch 7, | abusewow, good story! keep writing, it looks promising! |
| Seventh Chords 2006-10-25 ch 6, | abuseI cannot believe that no reviews have been submitted as yet! This story has made a very promising start so far, and I've enjoyed the suspense in this piece so far. Keep writing! |