Cool piece. This has quite some interesting thoughts in it. Good job. :D

0.o I really like this, but some of it didn't make much sense to me. Maybe it's just where you cut the lines... I don't know. I really, really like this though =) Great job.

*~Black and White Dreams~*

o this one's cool,
and i like how u repeated the last line

btw thanx for all the reviews, sorry it took so long 4 be 2 review back

Firstly, I'm not sure whether you could call this a song. o.O It doesn't seem to have much of a rhythm to it, but maybe you have it and stuff, so yea.

Secondly, I don't really like how you shift the last word to the next line so many times. It kind of makes reading a little hard. Everytime I came across it, I had to go up one line and read it through again to let it make sense.

"You have been dying / In and when you..." I didn't really get that part. Dying in?

Nice try, but I think this could've been better. =) Thanks for the comment anyway! -hugs-