I love it! The best song fic I've read so far! very nice. (Hello also happens to be my favorite evanescence song XD) Good job, keep it up!

Okay I have to say that you're writing is captivating, but sometimes you over describe things. Drop words you don't need such as when you say:
I wonder silently, my bottom lip starting to bleed from the pressure my teeth were piercing into it with.

You can make it something along the lines of:
I wonder silently, my bottom lip starting to bleed from the pressure of my teeth.

We can already figure out that her teeth are piercing her lip, or it wouldn't be bleeding. Extra words clutter the space, making the flow a little choppy.


But your story line was fantastic, good job.

I love it!! It's great!!
Your an excellent writer very original!!
I used to like Evanescence's song Hello, but after I read your story I like it even more..
I'm adding it to my favorites..if that's okay with you??

Whoa that's really cool. Nice form and structure too. I think she was a murder, and that it wasn't suicide. Ah well.

One of the best stories I've read here, and it gets me thinking as intended. Not to mention, it's based off a great song.

I'm going to add this to The Puppet case C2, good job.