Oh, MC. Stoppit. This song was good! ^^

And how come you get NICE criticism reviews?! xP

i really liked it

This is GOOD. I really like songs that tell a story, and you have done so beautifuly.
That being said, I have some critique for you.
Songs have to be written in a very tight format: each line must have the same number of sylables. It sounds simple, but its not.
In your first verse, this is how the sylables go:
7
6
6
8
In the second, this is how it goes:
3
4
3
5
One more critique, the chorus of this song is not really clear. It may be "Don't try to be a hero" but who knows?
The bottom line is that you have vivid details and a wonderful story, but lack the structure a proffesional song requires.
I hope this review has helped you.

emo lyrics are the best usually. they are so imaginative, like this. i really enjoyed reading it.

keep writing

autumn