Reviews for Andwyrden - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Andwyrden - Reviews: Page 1 of 20

the kitten 2008-05-23 ch 18,	abuselove it! hurry up with the next one, will you?
random2one 2008-05-19 ch 18,	abuseWow! Your story is so good! The rewritten part is different from the previous version, but i think you made it better than it was before! Good job on it! Update soon!
A. December 2008-05-09 ch 1,	abuseThis is only a test... Hey, when are you going to take down all the chapters after fifteen, like you told me you would?
Sunnyboy02 2008-04-25 ch 2,	abuseOh I just wanted to say that the remark at the end made me laugh out loud! "...so welcome to the family." Geez how funny! Xeres Hanley
Antigone.Solange 2008-04-23 ch 54,	abusehello there! i just wanted to say that this was an AMAZING STORY! it definitely kept me intrigued and away from my impending homework hehehe. it is very creative, and i applaud your imagination! how you were able to keep all those places and ideas straight is beyond me! keep up the good work, and i can't wait to read the edited version! ahh lea and graeson! i would definitely love to see more romance between them--their story is so cute! =) ~babydrag0nfly
Genato 2008-04-04 ch 54,	abusei loved the first 14 chapters. but suddenly, it veered off from the story... the next chapters.. were okay.
Written 2008-01-23 ch 54,	abuseThe tight narrative structure and form of this story is so amazing that it almost overshadows the characters and the plot. I LOVE the recurring themes you have going on and ishfkjs just wow. Its honestly thrilling. That being said, the plot and the structure seem to mold into each other, so the way you made your story revolve around cards and games doesn't seem forced at all. the entire tone of your story is very much like a fairy tale and very effortless, as if it just appeared one day. well done. how did you get this idea, and how long did it take to plan everything out? I'm in awe of you :)
MacKitty 2008-01-20 ch 2,	abusehm, i really like the plot idea so far. and the chapter names!! it's like...the fairy tale of fairy tales (i checked out some of the reviews and saw some of the other cool stuff that comes along the way). Lea seems very timid and obedient; nothing to really make her stand out yet but maybe it's one of those personal growth things. as i've read, i can't help noticing that it's a bit rough the way things are worded. yeah, that's a maddening thing to say, i know, because it's not that specific but i'll try to give you an example: like in the first chapter when Lea's mother is speaking and it is mentioned that Lea won't speak because her mother is talking; that seems a bit awkward. i'd say either break up the sentence into separate sentences or just don't include some of it. let the details of the characters come out naturally as the story progresses instead of trying to explain everything right away. but...i am also a writer, NOT an editor, so it could be my personal preference or just a general lack of talent at being an editor. :shrugs: i'm just saying how i feel intuitively about your story. but i think you've got a really cool idea so please, keep with it. wow, i was wordy today...haha. good luck with getting published!
Ali 2008-01-13 ch 13, anon.	abuseI know this review is a little late but I just wanted to say how wonderful your story is! I'm only at chapter 13 (my lucky number!) but I couldn't carry on without gushing about it :) thank you for making my day
xsilversirenx 2007-12-19 ch 54,	abuseOh my goodness. I love Sidyan! I don't know what it is but I think he's the most interesting character in this story. I never quite know what he's up to, he really keeps me guessing. Love your story, I read it all at once that is how enamoured I am with it. I do wish Mercy had been developed a bit more though, but that could just be because I have an unhealthy obsession with supporting characters no matter what I'm reading.
Written Incognito 2007-12-18 ch 1,	abuseOKAY. First of all, WOW. Sorry, I know the caps lock button is not my friend, but I really couldn't help myself this time. I love the WHOLE story to bits and pieces, but the beginning really is my favorite. Everything from when she puts on the ring and how to house comes to life, to the reassurance she gets when she sees her husband's face in a card. Maybe it's because the theme of games and such was more prevalent in those first chapters (the first suit). I love the way the first game was clock patience, because even if it's not MEANT to be symbolic, there's just the feeling that she's losing time as well as trying to stay alive in time for her husband to arrive. also, clock is not an interesting game unless you have a wager going, some say, and you managed to make it totally thrilling. the story is fairy tale-esque in it's style, as well, something that's hard for me to explain. In some senses, it is a fairy tale, but I'm trying to say that your writing voice, your style, is very evocative of it, aside from the actual plot. I love the way you have running themes in the story, like the stars (mentioned in the ace of each suit!), as it seems to tie all the suits together, and I love how structured the story is that they do all fit so perfectly. I said before that the first suit is your strongest, but I still remember when I read Ace of Hearts (yesterday. . . so long ago. . . . haha] and I thought to myself, "OH NO, THE LAST CHAPTER IS UPON US. I'M SO SAD. . . " And then I read the bit at the end, and I thought WOW. I love you. I thought the jump in time was a bit disconcerting, but I did enjoy the characters, nevertheless. If you do rewrite this someday, I WOULD avoid the character jump, and I would expand on the relationship between the brothers, like I think you are going to anyway. That being said, rewrite or no, this is one of the best completed works on this site. I just wanted to tell you that. Thank you so much for the awesome read, and please keep writing. BY THE WAY: I've added this story to a C2 archive I have for fairy tales and folk tales; hope you don't mind. Take care!
Raina Ookami 2007-11-27 ch 54,	abuseWhy in the world did it take me so long to finish this? Well, it honestly had something to do with Confessor (by Terry Goodkind) coming out, I imagine... But that is something else. ^_^ At least I did finish. hmm... I thought the ending with Murgo and Mercy seemed kind of rushed and... I still do not feel like I really know Mercy. Her concern about the king was endearing, but... Work more of her into the next draft. If you feel so inspired. ^_~ The last joker seems more of a prequel. Will there be another deck? ha, ha. But seriously! Kind of reminded me of the Chronicles of Narnia. m. I liked the position for Hectyr, though. It worked. Although him really killing somebody... shrugs I could stand more of the island too. I am really looking forward to the second draft. Will you take it all down and start again or repost chapters in this one as you do them? ... of course then the following chapters won't make much sense... eh. Still. Seems like a shame to lose reviews. My point was, though: I think my favorite part of the whole novel was Sidyan's games with Lea before we even met Grae really. So. More of him and the island; they are fun. Happy writing!
Raye Dragonmage 2007-11-25 ch 33, anon.	abuseGotta say, I love this chapter. Tarot cards? So cool! I do Tarot myself, and I personally don't think they're given proper credit. And when I read the rhyme in the part with The Fool, I was like, "Hey! It's that rhyme!" I can't remember the name of the story, but from the one where the girl almost got married to a robber and was warned off by something in the house...Yeah...I'll stop rambling now. Um, one thing, though. If Lea's pendant needs sunlight to work, it doesn't make sense that starlight would have the same effect. Shouldn't she have gone to the door with The Sun on it? You don't have to answer, being as this story is done. It was just pondering I thought you might find helpful on the rewrite. Unless, of course, you have your own reasons. I'll shut up now.
Hannah C. Thaw 2007-10-26 ch 54,	abusei am very impressed. Good for you for finishing! I really liked sidyan in the last few chapters. He is so different then how he was in the first book. I am looking forward to reading the rewrite because this was kind of confusing and it tended to jump around a lot. But once again, good job! Be sure to tell me when this gets published. What happened to that other book of yours that is getting published?? Is it out yet?
Antonia the Great 2007-10-20 ch 43,	abuseSo, I'm wondering. Are you going to try to get this published? I think you could do it. =)

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