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| Nemonus 2007-01-01 ch 3,  | abuseGood carrying rhythm in this one. It's modern and bittersweet. |
| Anaare 2006-12-10 ch 2, | abuseQuite an interesting little collection, it has a "raw" quality. I can't say I always enjoyed the formatting, but in the end it was a pleasurable read. The wording is indeed quite in-your-face and it is better off for it. So, well done and good work. |
| Guardrail 2006-11-01 ch 3, | abuseWell written. I really like the thoughtful quality to this piece. I especially loved the lines, "Wash away with the rest of them In the TV's bright gleam." Nice work, keep writing. |
| Guardrail 2006-11-01 ch 2, | abuseAgain, a great last stanza. You have a great voice in this poem, and you use your words effectively. Wonderfully well written. Keep it up. |
| Guardrail 2006-11-01 ch 1, | abuseSome nice imagry here, I especially loved the last stanza; very vivid. I like this, keep writing. |
| Nemonus 2006-10-20 ch 1, | abuseYou have some trouble with fragments. Overall I like the structure of this, how it moves physically...especially the transition between first and second stanzas is meaningful. I will presume that the harsh characters describe in the third stanza are about how writers can let out their own dark emotions, or their dark characters, into fictions, which is very true...there is not a coherent theme to this poem, but that's ok here. "Hidden within all lost" rather confused me, though that whole stanza has a prettyness to it because it is rather what writing is about. Good last line and, as I said, transitions. However, it could do with some consistency and more organization in the wording. |
| unspecified 2006-10-20 ch 1, | abusethis is so awesome! it is so true! wow...i can't even explain it. it is so awesome..you are going to be famous someday :D Joy |