 temblance 2007-01-03 . chapter 1This felt a little ambiguous to me...it seemed like the characters were not well defined. Maybe I just wasn't reading closely enough, but I found myself confused, especially with the different formatting of certain lines. I did like the repetition of 'personality retrieval: minimal' and 'mood: bleak' though. This story was interesting and quite original, but a little editing may help to make it more clear. |