This is an excellent piece of work. I like the way you handled the internal and external conversations. Very well stated. This is a note only (your work is perfect as is), I found it hard to pick out the single word external speaking. Perhaps making that part bold would help. I may be the only one having that problem (old eyes) so it may not be necessary.

BH

love the emotions in this

and i'm sure many can relate to the feeling

good job :)