omg i can so relate to this poem it is so amazing... i just wish that some of the people that hurt us could feel what we do ya know. its just sad how things can happen and no one cares. and this poem talks about that subject very AWESOME! i hope u keep writing!

I like this poem. I'm not really sure if it's because I've felt that sort of heart break before or if I just really appreciate this kind of work. The slightly off rhyming couplets are a nice touch, they really help to express the love that the speaker feels for their beloved but at the same time they don't all really match up perfectly so it gives the illusion that there was something wrong in the relationship. Once again very good work on this, I hope that you can put out more work at this level.

From,

A new fan and an old lover of poetry.

soo emotional...good job

Wow, I love this! So dark and painful, it's spectacular! Well done. Nice flow to it and the rhyming was good. Keep writing.

I really like your pome it's super awesome!

How sad. Very good! Good job!

Wow, really well written, rhymed perfectly, great choice of words, keep writing!

Lurid

"This is the damage a heartbreak can bring.

You are my weakness, you are my king." Coolest line

I absolutely adore it.

One. It's exactly how I feel right now

Two. It rhymes but doesn't lose the poetic mood. It's not cheesy.

Three. I love the concept of time "It's 2am. It's 2:30" etc.

Overall, awesome. ]

the rhyming is good.

This is really awesome...you did a really great job on this!

Yeah, I'm being lazy and not logging in XD! Well I like how you presented this, I think you made a good move with telling the times to express the heaviness of it, I think there were a few instances where you seemed to work too hard to stress a rhyme, but I think we all do that occassionally! I think it's definately your style

I like the format.

Good job, you've given setting, situation, emotion... nice imagery, I like the word choice.

you got the emotion across really well, but the rhyming's a little awkward. otherwise, great poem. i like how you use the passing of time to show how the situation deteriorates.