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| cami611 2008-07-19 ch 1,  | abuseI like this poem. I'm not really sure if it's because I've felt that sort of heart break before or if I just really appreciate this kind of work. The slightly off rhyming couplets are a nice touch, they really help to express the love that the speaker feels for their beloved but at the same time they don't all really match up perfectly so it gives the illusion that there was something wrong in the relationship. Once again very good work on this, I hope that you can put out more work at this level. From, A new fan and an old lover of poetry. |
| chipmunks love squirrels 2008-07-08 ch 1, | abusesoo emotional...good job |
| WritesWithPoisonInkAndBlood 2008-07-04 ch 1, | abuseWow, I love this! So dark and painful, it's spectacular! Well done. Nice flow to it and the rhyming was good. Keep writing. |
| The Number Three 2008-06-21 ch 1, | abuseI really like your pome it's super awesome! |
| HappyBunny91 2008-01-29 ch 1, | abuseHow sad. Very good! Good job! |
| Lurid Black 2008-01-11 ch 1, | abuseWow, really well written, rhymed perfectly, great choice of words, keep writing! ~Lurid~ |
| Noellen 2007-12-06 ch 1, | abuse"This is the damage a heartbreak can bring. You are my weakness, you are my king." Coolest line ^^ |
| Killer.Sinner.Whore 2007-08-18 ch 1, | abuseI absolutely adore it. One. It's exactly how I feel right now Two. It rhymes but doesn't lose the poetic mood. It's not cheesy. Three. I love the concept of time "It's 2am. It's 2:30" etc. Overall, awesome. =] |
| review 2006-11-05 ch 1, | abusethe rhyming is good. |
| Friggin Awesome 2006-11-03 ch 1, | abuseThis is really awesome...you did a really great job on this! |
| LeoOsaka 2006-10-25 ch 1, anon. | abuseYeah, I'm being lazy and not logging in XD! Well I like how you presented this, I think you made a good move with telling the times to express the heaviness of it, I think there were a few instances where you seemed to work too hard to stress a rhyme, but I think we all do that occassionally! I think it's definately your style |
| Left On The Shelf 2006-10-22 ch 1, | abuseI like the format. Good job, you've given setting, situation, emotion... nice imagery, I like the word choice. |
| the wilderness remains 2006-10-22 ch 1, | abuseyou got the emotion across really well, but the rhyming's a little awkward. otherwise, great poem. i like how you use the passing of time to show how the situation deteriorates. |