|Reviews for breathe IN|
| driftveilings 7/15/10 . chapter 1
Er, it's kind of my favorite.
All time. Ever.
And this one shot perfectly corresponds with it.
I applaud you for this.
| Maybreakmyheart 4/24/09 . chapter 1
| Sandy Sparkle 11/22/08 . chapter 1
I really enjoyed reading this. -thumbs up-
| frigoetmoi 9/13/08 . chapter 1
its funny, i felt this once, but of course no to the point of killing, just leaving. haha. its one of those things where you yourself feels depressed because the other is too perfect.
| Nessa Veneanar 8/15/08 . chapter 1
Love the twist that the ending takes!
I agree with Alaka's theory mostly; the male character doesn't come across as a sociopath.
I think it says a lot about our human ideals. On TV, in our books, on the internet... the men and women of our romances are (mostly) supposed to be drop-dead gorgeous, even more so with the kind of typical teenage romance story (no offense to teenagers- I'm one myself- or their romances). But would we really be happy with someone who has no flaws?
Like the woman, this story has no glaring flaws (bad pun, I know). :) The prose draws you in, and the use of short, simple lines to break up larger sections make the piece almost lyrical. And of course, the final line packs quite a punch.
| the ignorance of it all 8/4/08 . chapter 1
I love this. It's so... beautiful.
The story itself is perfect, flawless.
Please, for the sake of the world, keep writing. )
| Alaka 2/13/08 . chapter 1
I found this rather interesting. Your story reminded me of something my friend told me, that certain men (or was it most?) are intimidated by beautiful or talented women. I don't think that your protagonist is exactly a sociopath, as one reviewer pointed out. Rather, he seems more intimidated by her and feels insecure consequently. Like how he wishes she were flawed.
Maybe he's just afraid of losing her. Or maybe she's so perfect that he can't reach out, since all he wants to do is fix something, i.e. play a part in the relationship that makes him look meaningful.
Anyway, I really liked your use of language. You don't burden your work with adjectives, but when they come they sound silky and fragile:
* walls thin as paper
* blue, translucent curtains she picked out last week
* static noise like God's bullets bouncing off the windowpanes
How can I wrap this up? I liked how effectively you ended things. The lyric was so simple, yet so conveying. Keep writing! :)
| vocecara 12/23/07 . chapter 1
the classic 'too perfect; no flaws' kind of person? don't quite get it. he wants to kill her because she's so flawless?
scrap that. if i met someone like that i'd want to kill her too.
| emerald 12/13/07 . chapter 1
*shudder* Gotta be careful about who you end up with, huh. Good job on making it so realistic and touching.
| Why My Fic 11/30/07 . chapter 1
I will be quite honest this story does sound somewhat like the Told(?) tale Heart But other than that it has gooding wording and great use of similies and metaphores.
| relapse into change 11/9/07 . chapter 1
this is beautiful
and perfectly written
& i love it
(you probely want to hear more then that
but i'm not really a good reviewer sorry)
it's going on my favorites though :)
| d666lisa 11/1/07 . chapter 1
| for keeps 9/1/07 . chapter 1
This is... it's beautiful. And I know that must be such a mundane review, and that you must want to hear more than that, but it's really all I can come up.
It left me reeling, and I'm still trying to pick apart your pretty words and get to the meaning. This is one I'll be thinking about for a while.
| tstj 8/7/07 . chapter 1
Love or hate? I can't tell.
| gulistanlik 6/27/07 . chapter 1
He doesn't like her because she has no flaws?
(Not that he would get a hold of someone completely perfect in the first place- that's not human)
Nice one-shot by the way. Very enchanting...is that the word?