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| GryphonFledglingOfSilverWin... 2007-01-11 ch 1, | abuseHmm... Interesting. Quite gritty in your style, but it struck me as very short and didn't tell much of a story. Is this a worldbuilding piece or a oneshot you did. The concept was thought-provoking, but there is very little here by way of story... Is this inspired by the film "Waterworld?" It really reminds me of the Smokers in that movie. And the only thing about the incest: wouldn't that lead to inbreeding eventually? That doesn't sound too good for the genepool if these flings result in a pregnancy... Despite my negative sounding comments, this was really very well-written. Great job! ~GryphonFledglingOfSilverWings |
| Haku 2006-10-26 ch 1, | abuseLovely piece of gritty steampunk. Your writing's becoming more descriptive now as well, with more of a variety in adjectives. Nice piece. |
| dreamshell 2006-10-25 ch 1, | abuseInteresting bit of "steampunk" fiction. I like the idea of a ship-city quite a bit. Is this a stand-alone or will it lead to something more? I usually don't ask that, but this looks like it could go on. Also, the bit about the "Xianese" tourist amused me. |
| Monev11235 2006-10-24 ch 1, | abuseHeh. I swear, sexual deviance is like your own personal cliche, Jave. |