Hahahaha, so cute.

This is a bit stilted in parts but overall I really liked it ). One suggestion though - maybe put some of the really short chapters near the beginning if the story together into a longer chapter?

cute ending. thanks for sharing!

Boys don't really act like that. Even the sensitive, emotional, honest, kind and caring guys and trust me, I know as my brother is exactly that. But then again, this is fiction so I guess guy’s can act however way you want them to, eh? Anyway, good story, really liked it.

Okay, probably good it was just a nightmare!

Oh! Wasn't expecting that for some reason! Excellent bit of angstyness ]

Oh, poor darling!

Aww. That was really cute, and the flow wasn't too bad either.

Now, if you care to hear it, some constructive criticism:

The time line itself seems a bit rushed. I'm sure it probably wouldn't if I had been following chapter by chapter, though that's the true test isn't it? I had a couple of major issues with spelling such as, "u" instead of "you"; but grammar-wise any flaws were easily passed over. The entire story was fairly short, but intense. It would be nice to see it spread out a little more, like one centimetre of butter on your scone instead of five. Over all it was a well done, if slightly predictable, story and I enjoyed reading it very much.

Great story! I really enjoyed reading this story! I did find the ending a bit short...

Athena

I thought I'd read and review one of your stories in return for the review of mine.

I thought this was well written, and with a bit of lengthening and editing it would make an excellent story. Not to say it wasn't good already, I'm just a stickler for constructive criticism.

Ok, this the second time I've read this story and it's so good. I love it so much XD

i have to say that was a pretty adorable story , i liked it a lot great job !:D

Hello! I've actually read the whole story, but my internet is messing with my head again, and the window crashed just as I was finishing the story, so instead of risking it again, I decided just to review on the first chapter instead of the last! YAY!

So yeah, great story, a little cliche, and what DID happen to the father? but yeah! loving it!

Lee

Ha ha ha.

The camp bed was under his own bed.

Niicce.

Great story, by the way!

omg

do a sequel. this was amazing. loved every second of it. :D