Reviews for What Do You Mean We Have Super Powers?

Reviews For: What Do You Mean We Have Super Powers?

spinkle22 2007-12-30 ch 3,	abuseHey... you should update! I want to see the end of this story! It's good!
TourqeGlare 2007-03-25 ch 3,	abuseThis is some fun stuff here! :) I have a slight problem with it though, I think that what you have here is too short, but thats just me. Try (if you wish) to make it as long as possible, without adding in extra filler. I do that, and I think its my downfall here (readers short attention span?!), but it makes a good story. :)
dark672 2006-12-23 ch 3, anon.	abuseit's good
Casey Drake 2006-12-06 ch 3,	abuseOH COOL!! Sweet... heeheehee... ooh, he ran the spell right back at the guy! DUN DUN DUN!! Cliffie!! :) CD
Jibbit-corn 2006-12-05 ch 3, anon.	abuseI'm too lazy to log-in. makes a face Anyhew... Uh... Interesting? o_O;
Jibbittessa 2006-11-29 ch 2,	abuseWAI! o_o That's insane, by the way. :P I luff. It portrays you guys (or at least you and Derek, the ones I know) seemingly perfectly.
Haley! 2006-11-08 ch 2, anon.	abuseAlrighty I have a couple of comments for both chapters: Okay I first have to say that I found the story entertaining. But I DID cut my hair! And it's not three feet long anymore (I'd be scared if it went from like a foot long back to three... hehe). But on the story itself: "Amanda could not go to school because she was currently sitting in the State Prison waiting for her parents to come bail her out, absolutely and utterly confused about the happenings." If her dad had answered the door, wouldn't he know that she was going to jail and would have tried to get to the bottom of it right then? If she was home alone and she answered the door then it would make more sense. Also, I could be wrong, but I don't think that they take kids into state prisons... Maybe she should just be at the local police station until you say what she actually did. Either way, it's pretty funny to think of Amanda in a jail cell... Other than those few things I found it very amusing. And for the record: If Alex HAD offered me 100 dollars, I would have taken it regardless of where it came from hehe. Also, she's not only stealing his pencils now... she's moved on to stealing the tuner as of today. I'm going to bet that the glasses or scores or the hall pass will be next... good times. Well I have to leave you with this very long and picky message haha. I enjoyed the story very much, but just for the record, MY HAIR ISN'T AS SHORT AS A BOY'S :)! hehe just wanted to make that clear. So I'll see you around. Laterz
Casey Drake 2006-11-06 ch 2,	abuse...oh my. XD CD
Casey Drake 2006-10-27 ch 1,	abuseHee. Well, sounds hilarious as usual. Oh, been meaning to talk to you... could you do a very nice thing and put in a character called Cheesecake Man in RandomMAN and Captain Person? :) CD
Heatless Flame 2006-10-26 ch 1,	abuseWow. I can't really say that I can tell what's going on, but I guess that each has a different power and can't remember what they did last night. Hm. Very interesting, I'll have to check this out when you update. Bye!
Lorendiac 2006-10-25 ch 1,	abuseI'm interested in finding out just how this happened to them (although you may not be planning to ever offer us a really detailed explanation.) And in how these new powers will affect their previously "normal" lives. Raymond Chandler once wrote something along the following lines: "If a man woke up one morning and discovered he had turned into an elephant, I wouldn't be so interested in how he got that way as in what he intended to do about it!" :) First, a couple of general comments about the last two parts, since you said you were particularly worried about them. For what it's worth, Alex sounds to me as if she ought to be much younger than a teenager. Partly because of her exuberance at the sad thing that happened to her sister. I may be a hopeless optimist, but I tend to expect a teenage girl to be more sensitive to her sister's embarrassing accidents than that. A small child might just laugh without meaning to be cruel, however. Another point may be the use of the word "bestest," which doesn't exist. I wouldn't really expect an 8-year-old to know that when she was excited, for instance, but I would expect a high school student to know. (I might be disappointed, but that's what I would expect!) The very ending of the Amanda part did surprise me. I was kinda assuming that these superpowers had just crept up on your five characters within the last few hours while they were all sound asleep, minding their own business. Now I find that this assumption is probably wrong in the case of at least one of the five! On the other hand: It's confusing that at first she seems to think she "knows" that she stayed up late last night working very ** homework, then a moment later she claims she "had no idea" what happened last night. You may have good reasons for showing her thoughts changing like that, but at first glance it seems very inconsistent. Why not have her think to herself, as soon as she wakes up, that she can't remember what she was doing when she dozed off? With that said, I'll maintain my proud reputation for shameless nitpicking by pointing out a few specific bits and pieces of this chapter that could stand improvement. * In fact, my whole room was floating! * What that seems to mean is that the ENTIRE room -- the floor, the walls, the ceiling -- was floating in midair above the ground. In context, as I kept reading, I decided that wasn't what you meant. But it's confusing. I'd suggest you rewrite that bit to make it more clear that you only meant lots of loose objects within the room were floating in mid-air, above the floor. * “Sheesh, turn off that alarm!” She said, then froze. She had good reason too. * Should be "she said, then froze" since the part about "she said" is really just the last part of a longer sentence that began with spoken dialogue. So "she" doesn't need to be capitalized in that situation. Also, that last bit should probably say "she had good reason, too." * “Careful there Brad. Don’t hurt yourself.” * Should be a comma right before "Brad," to show that he's the one she's addressing. * I grabbed it, seeing that it still have my super drawing of cheese on it. * "it still had" * I did the only sensible thing to do and a drew a 100 dollar bill. * I think saying "did" and "to do" in the same quick sentence is a bit repetitious. And "and a drew" is odd. And although I could be wrong, I'm not sure about using "100" instead of "hundred" in that context. I'd make it something like this: "I did the only sensible thing and drew a hundred-dollar bill."

Return to Top