Hi, I don't know if you have a beta yet, but the first chapter has quite a few sentences that are missing commas in the right places...Or commas at all.

So yeah. Nothing terrible or anything. ^.^

I'm so curious about this story and your other one. I'll just keep reading. :D

-sniffles- It took me about 3 days to read all these chapters and I only have one word to describe your story...amazing. WOW. It's one of those very RARE stories that isn't cliche and well written. This story definitely makes my top 5 on Fictionpress. You had my ears watering with this chapter, girl! -sighs- I don't know what it feels like to have no father, but I do understand grief and this chapter was one of my favorites. I absolutely have fallen in love with Ethan Hunt. Forget all other fictional characters, psh! Ethan pwns all. He's like the quiet and serious guy, yet completely funny and sexy at the same time. lol. My type of guy. Jimmy and Finn are awesome too. They remind me of my best guy friends, especially Jimmy. I've got a Haley in my life too. Anyway, I felt like this story deserved a review even though I usually don't write them since I'm always in a hurry. And because of my screen name. Gah, I got this account a long time ago and I was in my embarrassing "Jonas Brothers" phase at age 13...now I'm almost 16 and I absolutely hate their living guts. Grr, I wish time traveling existed so that present me could tell past me that the Jonas Brothers are cookie-cutter, Disney Channel, sellout ** and that their music is nothing compared to others out there. Like Damien Rice, Lifehouse, Red, Jason Mraz, Trading Yesterday, The Beatles, James Morrison, etc. Haha. I'm rambling. I do that a lot. Anyway, I should probably stop whining and stop procrastinating on my homework. Got to go :)
- Naomi

I Like, I Lust, I Love!!Please Update Soon!!

YEY an update!

Ria's experience was heartbreaking. :( Hope she'll be able to pull through.

Hm... amidst all her woes, it seems Ethan's kiss didn't register. Can't wait for it to sink in. haha

Hope you'll be able to manage well without the notebook. If not, good luck finding it!!

update soon! :)

The kiss! finally

lets get rid of the stuttering. it sounds fake, no offence.

ah yes. high school sucks. im dying to find out what our main girl's name is XD

Nice so far. I like this chapter the best.

Absoluty love it so far!Update as soon as possibele!

In the 'near romance' scenes, I kept thinking 'oh no, let this not be a cliche scene that will ruin the story' eg. the icecream on Ria's cheek scene and holding hands and running to Miranda's scene. But even though the icecream scene is used pretty often, you made it seem different, more genuine and cute in its simplicity. She didn't make a fool of herself by giggling incessantly and such. And the holding hand thing was so thrilling! It was fast and fun. Unexpected too. I never thought he'd hold her hands and so quick at that, what with his hands just whipping out and all. Then even more unexpected, he said that sentence so quick and ran. Not only was it Ria who had no time to respond cos I found myself surprised aswell.

Well considering Ria gave Ethan a 9 tops out of ten, I would say its pretty obvious that she thinks he's more than cute! I like Erica, very upfront, to the point and at the same time she likes to be a girl i.e. talking about girls and such but not overly giddy about it

!1 8-9/10 for Ethan boy! I wonder what Ethan would rate Ria? Hehe..

Hms, well its weird how everyone is not taking no for an answer and as a result Ria ends up in situations other than home watchin TV. Abit unreaslitic??

Subtle offences like when Ria didn't bid any farewell whatsoever to Ethan really does spark up the scene abit

HAHA! I din t excactly laugh at 'By the way your fly is undone' but i nearly snorted!, Then I did laugh and rad it agian and laughed again haha. Simple and childish but who cares! It was epic. Flys being undone are always a sheamful horror yet hilarious! There was Ethan being all cunning and smart and witty with his mocking, and Ria with her outright insults. She didn't play the game his way so that way it would be unpredictable and he would be none the wiser. Thats what i think anyway, its harder to insult someone back with a good comeback when the other is always being cheeky and immature. For eg, a little kid and a grown up having a feud. The little kid would be hella annoying and the adult would just be fuming! Here, Ethan the adult and Ria the kid =)