i see you like to write action too. i hope a chapter comes out, at least i'd know why Mr Mckenzie got betrayed ):

Pretty good! I love the story! The only thing is quotations aroung speech are double quotation marks. ie Sally said "Let's go to the park!"

If it is someone talking about one oneone else said, THEN you use the single marks, inside the doubles. ig Sally said, "He said 'don't go in there' but I did anyways."

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I hope this helped! Your story is perfect, otherwise (and thank's for the review on my story!). Great job-keep it up!