Ooh I hope Cam doesn't get jealous...This is really good, I think you portrayed the two different charachters very well and that this is well written. Please update soon as i feel this has a lot of promise to it and that it will turn out to be a great read! Can't wait to read more.

nice work. i like this story. you're a good writer i look forward to reading more. keep writing.


love, lust and dark disire. ~erAced~

Dayum... you're 15, you say? Must be the English school system... I'm American, and you write better than most of the high school graduates over here. And AS good as a lot of college graduates. Better than some. Uhm... heh, now I've lost track of whether I'm saying that Americans are stupid or that you're a good writer, so - you're a good writer. :)

So much for the buttering-up.

Personally, I find Cameron's life a bit too damn dark. Raped AND beat AND poor AND self-inflicted injuries AND... unrequited love AND gay all at the same time? Did you forget to make him a herion addict? :) Sorry if that sounded mean - supposed to be funny.

Now a few cliche's - typical of everyone who writes slash, but especially the teenage girls:

- everyone's good-looking.
- everyone wears baggy clothes and usually black.
- the sex is always anal.
- they're pretty obviously divided into "the boy" and "the girly boy".
- Changing POV's. If you want to show how more than one character feels - that's what 3rd person is for. Otherwise, you CAN still show someone else's feelings by dropping hints in their words and/or actions.
- self-inflicted injury (it actually worries me how many of you girls write about that...)
- the oblivious best friend of the protagonist - who will no doubt realize that his true love has been under his nose all along, and he didn't even know it.

Yeah, maybe I read too much yaoi. :)

I'm not saying you should CHANGE anything you're doing - I was serious about that buttering-up part up there - just keep 'em in mind as you go along, eh?

This is a fantastic story so far. I love what you have written! Please keep up the great work. :D oxox

Kaitlyn seems sweet. I hope Liam doesn't accidentally or otherwise give her the impression that he's interested in her if he isn't. I don't want to see her getting hurt even if she probably isn't that important a character in this story.

I like this story, and i hope that Cameron does get to go to Liam's house. hope you continue:]

yup thats girls..lol. mind you with the decription of liam i cant say i blame her te-he.

and man have you found the key...damn you. lmao. great chapter as usual keep it up and please update soon! i love this! and by the way i loved the ending to this lmao very nice touch :P

hey i loved the new chapter!! i cant wait for you to update so MORE SOON please!

wow! i really don't know how you think of it all...i think its awesome, keep up the good work :P

I think I'm starting to like Liam already ^^. And it would be great to get some parts written in his POV, too, so yeah, it's a good idea to switch it every now and then. Keep writing, this is a story I'm really looking forward to reading more ^^.

a good addition to a story which feels to have limitless potential. dont dissapoint with up and coming chapters and you have another very happy reader

brill, i want more lol keep writing x

Well I think this is a start to a fantastic story :D I can't wait for more, you've done a great job so far. I think you should continue it. I would be disapointed if you didn't. Well what I've read so far I think I found a fantasic story. Please keep up the outstanding work :3

A Very nice story :D. please keep the chapters coming as graphic as that one and u will have one very happy reader in me.