FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Manju 2006-11-12 ch 1,  | abuseoh nice. this is very thought provoking. great rhymes again, it has a great rythm (sp?) to it. one spelling mistake though "it's too late to bow our head and EXCEPT defeat..." EXCEPT should be ACCEPT. besides that, this is a great poem. |
| LoopyGirdlejuice 2006-10-29 ch 1, | abuseWow. That is amazing. Going in my favorites, and you are too. |
| Crivanea 2006-10-29 ch 1, | abusei like it..strong..emotional..and the rythem and meter is not so bad..in some areas u can work on. for example.the last line- ashes and blame...something about that is off..i mean i love the content...but its missing words..the meter is off and not enough emphasis on blame..overall nice job- i enjoyed it |
| Guardrail 2006-10-29 ch 1, | abuseVery well written, I really like your rhyme scheme here. The lines, "but you never did really open your eyes just as i never closed mine" are especially great. Nice work, keep writing. |