i know it's angst, but it's really awesomely written, i think.
the formatting of the third stanza doesn't fit, though. it just sounds forced (though i'm sure it's not) or even replicated--like i've read something written in the same style in some classic somewhere.
but i like how you came back to play with your begining at the end. that adds a cool mean for interpretation.
and your images are beautiful.
breaktaking, actually.
"penchants of this gin-soaked boy
taste of apples and snow"
-- you have to know already how wonderful this is.
pretty cool.

the felt pen freckles were in front of my eyes. wierdly i did recognize those borrowed lines although i haven't been on the site for months. your painted pictures always amaze me.

have posted a couple new bits, would love to get your input.

this is pretty good ;) i especially liked the way u described the boy and the imagery created. beautiful flow in this one,

~mez~

The second stanza is lovely- there is movement, richness, and a continuancy, especialy in "he swallowed the moon as it swayed wanton hips/ across the river's skin". However, the second stanza seems a little drenched in adjectives and description- there is only one active action in all 7 lines, so by the end, one isn't sure where you were headed beyond description. I do love "seastrand arms ever coiling/ around a womb colder than seas", though. The imagery is gorgeous, no contesting that. It just got a little stagnant towards the end. Hope I wasn't being harsh, it was beautiful. :) `~bella~`