Wow. Beautiful imagery. *builds a shrine to Wolfie* Guess where this is going?

sounds like an interesting line, paradies of despair. i like it, its got some kinda...hmm dont know what word i want to use there, depth? meaning? oh well i liked this one too (adds to faves)

The rhythms are a bit wonky, but I like the ideas you've put across. I like the lines 'to strike is to please' and 'sleep is insomnia' and 'clear is opaque'. I like the way you have set it out. Occasionally, the rhyming can seem a little forced, but you've done remarkably well with the subject. I likey! Keep it up!

Definitely one of my all-time favorites for sure... Loved it...

I agree with Locus - this reads like lyrics to me.

I always appriciate good formatting - nice segmentation using bold on crucial lines and on the paragraph in the end.

The contradictions work well for this piece.

B

Good to be home. ^^ Really, though. For us, isn't Heaven Hell and Hell Heaven? All of it is pretty true.

You and your pretty little words, Shane ...

It's lovely and good and delicious and poisonous. Awesome! That last bolded stanza is "ghetto".

And I've just realized you rhymed. Well, it was good enough that it didn't sound forced, and so I didn't notice. Also a good sort of trait to have. I guess you're the Renaissance Man of FictionPress, love. ^_~

I think my work is done here.

Love,
Felicia.

Nice!

O_o Woah, this is intense. And so super awesome. I love it. *adds to favs* =D ~Sara

Have you considered putting this to music?

well well we are feeling poetic lately arent we my dear? i love it as always, made me think it did.
~luna~