Two things you need to fix up about this chapter -

First, in the third line, it says 'But..' when I think, most traditionally, anyways, it should read, 'But...' (three dots). I know, I know, pedantic, but that's what I am.

The title of this chapter - dare I say it?! - is just corny! Sorry! 'The Whole 9 Shards'? You're quoting that Bruce Willis/Matthew Perry movie, right? Because that's where my mind exactly goes! Sorry! So I think you should probably change it. Because it made me laugh, and for a moment, forget the sombre nature of this poem series.

This chapter was good:

i) because of the first line - I just liked the imagery! Like a tight ball of anger slowly releasing and deflating. I hope that's what you intended me to think of!

ii) the cliff hanger. That ending - the italicised 'BUT' makes me want to keep on reading. Well done!

The use of onematapeias (oh god. I don't think that's how you spell it!) in the first few lines definitely grabbed my attention, so I liked it. However, I felt that the use of '&&' is somewhat a cliche now in - dare I say it? - emo poetry, so I think to get a better feel for the poem, you should forgo it and just use on '&'.

But that's just my opinion.

- Clap Trap, from Review Marathon (link in my profile!)

I --

What??!

I loved it... It relates so well to MY time together with MY parents.

This is really good. I see alot of unique symbolism and i'm curious as to if there'll be more? Anyways keep up the good writing!