It wasn't incredibly obvious, but it was a little bit. I love this story! You're an incredible writer. Update soon!

SF

Too lazy to log in.
Anyway, I'm SO excited that you brought in Eric.
I'm all for it.
i got a bit confused this chapter, but like you said, this is all just a rough draft, so keep it up

rawr X:

Though words are spelled right, they're the wrong words ^^ make sure when you go over the draft to check on that. If you want them pointed out, I'll go over it again and do that for you. I wish the chapter was longer, cause it DEFINITELY piqued my interest.

Can't wait for an update (O: that rhymed! I amaze myself lol!)

- Kitty

this is going great! keep at it! There are a few errors here and there, but nothing major, and I don't feel like going back to let ya know :P i'm lazy. Update soon if you can (i understand how blocks go D: )

_ Kat _

Aww. Poor V. She's going through a tough time...maybe Jared can help her?...Hey, don't worry about not updating. I still haven't updated my story since December...;)

Anyway, good chapter. UPDATE AGAIN SOON!

SF

oh and btw i just read ur profile.. dude u r like my psychic twin! scaryness.. yeah

heya i reckon this story is the **! i love it but there's a couple of errors here and there (not a big deal) like in chap 5 she's talking to jared about meeting up and then it changes to kai, in chap 6 it says kai got drove home by himself which is just a grammatical error so no biggy (kai drove himself home makes more sense) and in chap ten theres just a typo - she hit behind the door.. i love this story though so you HAVE to update soon! xoxo keep it up :)

YAY! ANOTHER UPDATE! Ok...Kai just dug himself a hole...my friend's boyfriend did that last night at the mention of children. ;) Anyway, love the chapter. Don't be negative, you're a kick-** writer! :)

Look forward to another update!

SF

very good chapter! though the beginning was a bit confusing (trying to figure out whose point of view it was in) just an idea, for when a chapter starts right after the last line of the last chapter, especially if you're changing viewpoints, you could copy the very last line (in this case, the line about soccer) add a tag from your new point of view and continue. That just helps clarify it a bit, but it still worked nicely the way you were doing it.
Oh, and I agree, she seems to be handling the whole no soccer thing relatively well. Actually, I was quite impressed that she didn't seem to really think about the cast until math.
Anyway, very good chapter and i really enjoyed it! Happy New Year, and I can't wait 'til the next chapter!

Hmm... this is a great story!
Please update soon ^_^

NO! Do not change chapter! Me likey! Anyway, really love this chapter. How's poor V gonna deal without soccer? Poor girl...anyway, UPDATE SOON, PLEASE! Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEARS!

SF

eh, never fear, I'm no fan of new years either.
anyways, onto the chapter!
good job... wow, a lot of thinking! though there wasn't much dialouge, so it worked :) and poor V... *shakes head*
the chapter was very well written and everything *hm* can't think of what else to say...there was something...oh! her ankle! she can't play in the game now! oh crud!
oh and another thing... is V a vegetarian? 'cause vegetarians don't eat fish... so if you ever want to give her eating habits a name... don't say vegetarian, but more like pescatarian (if it's just fish she eats)...hmm, I'm going into lecture mode... I'll stop and save you the bother then... but if you're interested in knowing more, i'm always happy to talk :) so just PM me, alright? and merry xmas, can't wait for the next chapter!

YAY! Another update! Ok, so did she break her ankle? Cause that would really suck. It was sweet of Kai to help her...:)

Ok.

Now that the review is out of the way, and because you asked, I'm gonna tell you what I got for Christmas!

My daddy got me a coffee maker, and really expensive coffee. Grandpa got me fuzzy slippers and a t-shirt with Jack Sparrow on it. (I love it lots. ;)) My little brother got me 4 CD's and a $40 gift card to Best Buy. I have no idea what my mom got me, cause she went out of town, but I'll find out in 3 days. Oh, and my aunt and uncle mailed me a gift card to Wal-Mart. I may get more stuff soon, but if I do, I'll tell you.

So how was your Christmas? What did you get? Ok, I'll quit rambling now. UPDATE SOON!

SF

P.S. You're only 13? Dang. I wish I could've written as well as you do at 13...oh, and where should the story be? Humor. For sure. :)

Yay! You updated! It didn't suck, there was just not much action. There was, however, vital information, and you should not be sorry for that. I just updated my story with a chapter of information, but it was useless information. :) Anyway, sorry for my useless rambling. Loved the chapter. UPDATE AGAIN SOON!

SF

haha, i know what you mean (you'd rather read it than write it).
but you're doing a great job with the story! the characters are so great!
age? well, considering jared is driving and the soccer try-out thing... i'd guess the main crowd is 16 ish, maybe a young 17...
anyways, can't wait for the next update!