FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| maniacally.enthralled 2006-11-05 ch 1,  | abuseBeautiful imagery and flow. The last line anded a tad bit abruptly for my taste however. I really liked the lines: "Sing a song/of remorse/with the forsaken". Lovely job. ~Mani |
| Stephanie 2006-11-01 ch 1, anon. | abuseI told you I would review... This was very pretty--pretty in a disturbing and creepy way, of course, but still. beautiful. I like the format. I am not much of a poetry person, so I tend to like stuff that is stylized and that plays by certain rules. So this poem was good for my poor brain. I thought the short lines, and the groups of three, contributed to the overall feel of the poem in a positive way; though as with most of my thoughts, I have a hard time explaining this. (Sorry!) I like that the word "ruins" is in the first and the last stanza. It makes the poem come full circle, and leads the reader to realize that her perception of the picture she was given in the beginning has changed, not that she has read the poem as a whole. I really like the imagery in a lot of your poems, in general. It makes me want to write stories off of them. :) Favorite lines in this: "The lost ones cry/with tears of ice/for you." So I hope this was coherent. I'm kind of doing ten things right now, so, tis difficult. To be coherent. Anyway, I think this may be one of my favorite of your poems thus far. I'm sorry if your emo woe is inspiration, but the way I see it, if I'm going to be emo anyway, why not get some good literature out of it? |