Wonderfully written, the flow of ideas in this piece is great. Amazing work, keep writing.

This is a hard format to write in, and I especially like the beginning about wasting your time in a dirty classroom- who can't identify with that? I also like the part about something being wrong in the smile, I thought those few lines flowed very nicely. I have to confess I had to read the lines near "feel so alive/ I always shulld have been" a couple times; maybe the fact that you repeated the whole line, and not just the ending word or two, threw me off? And way to play with my emotions; the make out in your car, loving no one but you thing was so sweet, and then you go and call her a ** and say that's all she ever gave you. Big voice change there. The ending isn't where I thought I'd be when I started reading a poem about boring classrooms! Good job.

I really like this style a lot. Thanks for sharing. :)

I love this style, and the rhyming/rhythm is so perfect- almost hypnotic. Excellence.