|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Peachie Miss 2007-09-24 ch 3, | abuseAww. No help here, I just think this chap is cute. |
| gwathryn 2007-09-22 ch 3, | abuseHeya! Read the chapter right away and I like the point of view. It cleared up some questions about the g-ma's relationship with Luce. Keep going... ::jedi mind trick hand wave:: you want to keep writing... |
| gwathryn 2007-09-21 ch 2, | abuseFrickin Sweet! I love this story, i hope you decide to continue it because I would love to see where this is headed. Well written just you know... write some more :). |
| Lolli Jo 2007-06-28 ch 2, anon. | abuseI love this story so far and i cant wait for the next chapter. I want to see what happens to Luce. And i also think i sence a tiny bit of sexual tension between Luce and Hailey. |
| Peachie Miss 2007-05-21 ch 2, | abuseHehe, interesting. Keep it up please! |
| mysunwolf 2007-05-21 ch 2, | abusewow, talk about creative :) i really like this, keep it up |
| radicalL 2007-01-31 ch 1, | abuseI loved reading this story! I'm glad Luce isn't a whiny depressed vampire like in 99% of all the other stories. Good job, it made me laugh. |
| DiegoManuelR 2007-01-03 ch 1, | abuseHehe. The middle part gets me. How can he just sit there quietly and take it! XD its truelly interesting. And I quite love it. And the fact that Luce is so quiet about it. |
| Radio Saturday 2006-12-12 ch 1, | abuseOh, I quite like this story. I want to know more about Luce. He seems like an interesting character. I can't tell if he just doesn't talk or if he really is "domesticated," like a cat or something. But that's cool. However, I'd like it if the writer's identity was a little more clear. I can't tell if she's supposed to be really little, or teenaged, because it seems to shift from entry to entry. Also, the setting is a little odd. You talk about contemporary things in the past tense, but nothing has come up to help the reader place the characters in the future. That's something that could be straightened out in (much hoped-for) future chapters. Also, you forgot the apostrophe in "that's" in the fourth paragraph. But that's the only typo that really jumped out at me. This is a really cool story, and with this new private message function they've got on here, I might start pestering you to update it! Just kidding -- I wouldn't presume to that extent -- but this is a a very fun story, and I hope there will be more! |
| Gilded Coins 2006-11-12 ch 1, | abuseAww, will there be more? I really enjoyed this. It's very cute and funny. Hailey is charismatic, and I really like Luce even if he never said anything. I find it well-written too: informal but not sloppy. The image of a vampire at the beach, snapping a seagull's neck in front of nice, average families XD Now I want my own vampire. "...cultivating skin cancer..."—I like that line. "We adopted Pill." Am I missing something or did you mean Luce? Good job. Hope you keep it up. |
| Black Spell 2006-11-06 ch 1, | abuseOMG...this was awesome! And yet, kinda funny...I'm sorry, but it seemed a bit funny to me...I have never seen something like this and I would lie to see more...keep it up! |
| Yaolyn 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseIt's cool. I like the way you write! |
| Cluff 2006-11-01 ch 1, | abusethis was a cool compostiion. it intrigued me. thats all i have to say. |
| Wonderland's Secret 2006-11-01 ch 1, | abuseThis is really interesting. Are you going to continue this? I love vampires! |