I love the idea - very original _

Maybe you could format the poem into stanzas and remove the double spacing? It's a bit long otherwise, and reading it gets tedious. To remove DS, open up the document and hit backspaceshift at the beginning of each line.

Thank you for posting this! Maybe you wouldn’t mind checking out a few of my writings too if you feel like it and liked the review? If you do, I recommend my rants. I hope the concrit helped!

Sakura.

[Yes, I copy/paste most of my reviews. So sue me. The concrit changes per review, and you get tips, right? Win/win situation. End of.]

You can see in some places where the phrasing has been changed to fit rhyme or rhythm.

My favorite lines are "Set upon the mantle there / the grand old boulder stands."

After reading all your comentary on forums, I resolved to read some of your works. I gaurentee you, I will be butt-ugly honest:

Cute, at best, but rather plain and simple, child-like, perhaps. I am assuming this is not your greatest work.

pretty poem.

so very cute...love the way you rhymed this. Rather subtle, love it.