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| Written 2008-04-18 ch 1,  | abusewhoa, I love it! first of all, your use of language is fantastic, because it sounds just like fables I have read. classic style. secondly, the throwing his riches in her eyes part was awesome... I love her response! It was so good. I really, really enjoyed this piece. |
| Orual 2007-10-19 ch 1, | abuseI really like this. It's simple and eloquent, just like a fable ought to be, and you delay the message just enough to really give it impact. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I noticed one small, odd thing, though. I understand that this is part of a larger work, so it probably makes sense within that context, but you wrote: "Now she was a clever one and knew exactly what she wanted..." But you never talk about what she wanted. Nor should you, because that's not the point here, but hinting it makes the reader wonder "what did the girl want?" The question isn't answered and leaves just a little discontent. |
| StarGirl5000 2007-04-15 ch 1, | abuseI liked it! The man remined me of the rich young ruler from Luke chapter 8. Jesus: "Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven: and come, follow me." Ruler: When he heard this, he became very sorrowful and departed, for he was very rich. That man loved his treasures too much, as well. |
| RecklessApathy 2006-12-11 ch 1, | abuseCute. Simple, short, succinct, and quite clever. :) |
| RubyXSerpent 2006-12-07 ch 1, | abuseVery, very nice! I quite enjoyed it. ^^ |
| Rosemarine 2006-11-01 ch 1, | abuseVery much like the pebble poem. Quaint and childlike, and simple. These things are not bad, and are enjoyable for sure, I suppose it's just very different from my own writing style. |