FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| LittleDoe 2007-07-15 ch 1,  | abuseNice, short and sweet. I like the words you chose to describe what an active child thinks of forced still days. Well done. God Bless you. ~LittleDoe |
| Isabella22 2006-11-23 ch 1, | abuseLol this is really cute! Awesome job! Happy Thanksgiving! |
| All Alone With Her Thoughts 2006-11-08 ch 1, | abuseCute =D Eck. You're talking to the wrong person about religon. Thanks for the review. ~Rowan~ |
| The Postscript 2006-11-04 ch 1, | abuseGood job. I read to underprivlidged kids on a regular basis as a part of a program and they are always on the go! It's hard to get them to sit still. But they are full of life, and that's a wonderful, refreshing thing. Great poem. Keep writing, s. |
| Seventh Chords 2006-11-04 ch 1, | abuseHaha, this piece reminds me a lot of my childhood days. I enjoyed the rhyming and simple content of this poem, though I thought the rhythm and flow of the poem was restricted somewhat by it. But then again, I'm not much of a poet anyway, so good effort. I'll be looking forward to more from you. |
| Needa S 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseI can see this, kids get bored easy. Great job, thanks for sharing. |
| Ironic Presence 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseIt's cute. I like it. it has a sort of child-like feel to it. |
| rust phoenix 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseMy favorite part of this poem is the title, it describes the feeling of being stuck inside really well. The rhyming was good, but the rhythem seemed a little awkward, the second line in each stanza sounded a bit too short. Overall this is a good poem, but I think it would help if you used some metaphors and more adjectives. |
| Crivanea 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseaw..that is so true!! and while i normally detest rhyming poems..because they sound so force..urs are not at all..they sound really natural...good job! |
| Taltush/MeiMei 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseIt's a pretty used topic, kind of cliched, and pretty childish. This poem is like that too. It's a very simple, rather boring poem that seems like a six year old wrote (maybe it's the style because it's written for a little girl) it, and really uninteresting. It's not much of anything, really. The rhymes are typical, the flow is completely awkward, and I've got to say that this poem is pretty stupid. |