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| asteria24 2006-12-21 ch 1,  | abuseThis made me think of silk for some reason. Maybe it's because I grew up with old cartoons like Popeye, Tom & Jerry, and Looney Tunes/Merry Melodies and they would always use "slip" to mean the item of clothing. Wonderful poem! But you forgot another type of slip: Freudian! |
| fading innocence 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseQuite honestly? Overdone idea. The only way a 'suicide' poem like this would be considered good is if there was some twist or the writer is exceptionally good at describing a certain aspect of the cutting. ~Fading Innocence 'dazzle me with your hypocrisy' |
| EmmaBlack 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseI like it. Beutifully written, I can tell you know good lit. |
| Midnight In Eden 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abusebecause you said you like concrit i'm going to try and give it to you. please don't take this as a flame. you've chosen to write about a very over-used and overwrought topic. and whilst doing that have used very cliche images. it's perfectly fine to write about such a topic but when doing so, you need to find a unique twist on it, insert your own feeling into it to give it original imagery. here you're using images of red, razors, knifes, soul, existence etc. those will not make this a great poem. before submitting something, look at it and think, have i read this before? am i using cliches? if at all you think yes, then edit it, redo it, try to make it new and different. hopefully this might help. .:midnight:. |
| Forever Forbidden 2006-11-02 ch 1, | abuseGreat poem. The shortness gives it a haunting quality. I know how the narrarator feels. -Helen |