This is so cool.
For some reason, it reminds me of that movie "Master and Commander" when the officer commits suicide by jumping off the ship, especially the line "water gives him/ peace of mind"
Very nice rhyme to it too.

I love the tone and rhythm of this. It is such a short but beautifully detailed poem filled with depth and insight. Wonderful.

This is beautiful, and the last line nearly killed me.

*heaven collides*

lovely lines - the ending was beautifully tragic.

I have no idea what to make of this, except stunning. short and anything but simple. the words just paint such a gorgeous setting when "heaven" and "angel" and I really don't know. I especially like "heaven collides" though! plus, the ending tied everything up marvelously. (: very nice imagery and choice of words.

The conciseness of the lines give great power and magnitude to each word. I like how this weaves through the sound, while still creating the concept completely. Good work.

"burning stars,
burning bright"

I Love the rythm and the sound of these two lines. They flow togerther really well.



"soldier stares,
angel waits
help comes
-a breath too late."

I love this part too. It is so god!! The way you described it, in short sentences was well done :)


Plz review back :)