Reviews for Katey's Angel of Death

Reviews For: Katey's Angel of Death

NewWayOfLife. 2006-12-22 ch 1,	abuseOh JASMINE I just read this and I got to say it was good. You should continue it with her And her escape. It would be an awesome story. I WOULD READ IT!!
Zombequin 2006-11-14 ch 1,	abuseI just have two little questions to ask about continuity and whatnot... "with her waist length chestnut hair pulled back in a tight ponytail" How would he know that her hair was waist length if it was tied up, and he'd never met her before? Also, in the beginning you mention him as Cameron Suldre, then in the end as Cameron Stane - is this intentional?
Zeela Ravena 2006-11-07 ch 1,	abuseWow, you did a good job on that.
Alala 2006-11-06 ch 1,	abuseTypos and things to fix! ^__^ "who longed to we wild and free to..." See that? 'Be', not 'we', you silly. And this phrase reminds me of something...Locke said...once...you silly. 'that if he ran for it, they would search for him and kill him when they found him.' The things amounting this are sort of silly, because even if he HADN'T been working for the L.S. for umpteen years, then wouldn't they track him down and kill him anyways? "He thought of how odd it was that the usual adrenaline rush he lived for wasn’t flooding his veins by this time. But he took no notice. Nor did he acknowledge the sick feeling that rose in his gut." He took no notice that he was thinking that it was odd? Isn't that sort of like having two conciousnessess...umm, ignore my laziness to use spell check, but, yeah. He didn't acknowledge the sick feeling in his gut. So then...he did notice it but he was complaining of it...sort of? Sorry, I just got confused on that. He's either whining about going to go kill someone or not. He needs to make up his mind. Oh, and when Katey and Cameron start interogating eachother, they too readily just start chatting away. It's kind of awkward with him all ready to cry and she's all mad and holding a gun up to his heart. And, if this Cameron dude were all mobster gangter murdered dude he was cracked up to be, couldn't he just like...duck out of her range and use the dark for cover and stalk around her room until he had HER at gunpoint and forced HER to drop the gun? Maybe I'm just too starved for action...XD But anyways, they just start chatting up a storm like they know eachother...kinda unrealistic. Maybe some shouting? WOO! I LOVE THE TWIST. It's okay because we hardly know Cameron anyways, so we don't really feel sick all day, but it's still makes us go AW DANG IT. I heart it to pieces then I eat it. Good job.
Insanity Da Best Policy 2006-11-05 ch 1,	abuseAw. That was touching! Very nice. I would recommend you add more spacing after each para...the first part looks really stuffed! But a good one shot! Poor Cameron! :( Oh, and maybe you should edit the 'what to do, how, when, and why'. The same thing being repeated in two consecutive sentence isn't that pleasing. And one small error - 'telling his what to do' I think that's telling 'him' what to do? Eh. Anyways, splendid! Great work!

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