This hits close to my heart..wonderfully written.

Sad, but very nicely written. You had some good, strong images and some beautiful lines.

very pretty. sad, ethereal feeling. i have to say that the first stanza felt a bit /much/ at times- the words were so strong they seemed to contradict. words like 'screamed passionate promises', 'endless midnight sky,' 'streets bled silence' sent you into this sort of overload of description. otherwise it really was beautiful. the second stanza was genius.

You are a daring darling, aren't you?

""as we screamed passionate promises into the endless midnight sky//and the streets bled silence as those hours crashed together and time stood still//while we danced by the silver streaked river to our unspoken pledge of forever//and the world stopped turning//just for us "-** Gorgeous, so beautiful and sour in my mouth (break ups suck) that I want to just scream-good poetry does this to me, hold on a moment while I spaz.
...
Better. Darling, this entire piece was perfection trapped on my computer screen. This is the reason you're on my favorites list-you make me crazy with envy and awe.

♥ Alice

the narration is beautiful, but a little too narrative. *grins* ... it's like - like you're spinning me a story & i listen in fascination but it can't be my story because you're telling me. *pauses & wonders if that was coherent* ... but asides from that feeling i got from this, i love it. i love the progression. i love "the streets bled silence" & "we convinced ourselves that someday we would be beautiful". just so pretty & so heavy with you.

-kait

beautifully and masterly written... but so sad... I wonder what inspired you...

'but were we ever anything more than heartbreak?'

'it all feels like forever ago now.
when are you coming home?'

you're breaking me with this, and i think you know it. **. i'm too numb to feel it right now but when i break down in about twenty minutes this will probably make me cry. i'm sorry that i haven't messaged you back yet -- i will very soon. needless to say, this is incredibly beautiful. i love the imagery of 'starless night' and trying to pretend that someday there would be beauty. 'but the wind was relentless against our vulnerability' -- absolutely gorgeous. i love seeing something new from you. this is absolutely beautiful.

thank you, by the way, for all of your amazing reviews. they really mean a lot to me. thank you for your support and understanding. i love your writing, and this poem is just unbelievably heartbreaking. beautiful.

♥ alison

That was a very sad poem, it reminds me of the war, but it was also a very well written poen aswell. ^_^

interesting...I've had to reread it twice and each time I read it, I get another interpretation. Is it about a love lost or a parent in the military? Those are the two biggest themese I see. I liked it. It was good.