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| K. L. Kirby 2007-04-17 ch 1,  | abuseAll I can is that this was f*ing SWEET! |
| summerbee 2007-02-25 ch 1, | abusei like the way it's half-poem, half-fiction...interesting format, in other words. i don't see writing laid out like this much. i'm also pretty fond of the storytelling feel it has, telling what happened and having the aftermath at the very end. very pretty language, as well. i liked 'glass like glitter on the street'. |
| agirlnamed-aly 2006-12-30 ch 1, | abuseI positively love this. So dark and haunting, your way with descriptions and emotion really leaves an impression. "You know as well as I that those sweet scars will never fade. No matter how long you’re soaked in bleach that jacket will always be stained." and "On late nights when I’m driving and my headlights flood the road, I can still see the glass like glitter on the street, but nothing haunts more than your whispered last words…" LOVED. IT. |
| darknessblooms 2006-12-08 ch 1, | abuseThis makes my heart ache. You have a way with words, the way you weave them together with incredible imagery that stays with the reader long after reading the poem. I love the line: "No matter how long you’re soaked in bleach that jacket will always be stained." - Sentences and phrases like these that make me catch my breath and love your work. Incredible. |
| Sarah-Brighteyes 2006-12-08 ch 1, | abuseWow... this catches your breath in your throat when you read it. A very powerful piece. You certianly know how to evoke emotions. "the glass shattered and fell broken-hearted on the midnight road" I love this line. It is so sad... and forshadows the characters own heart. I usually find car crashes very good for practicing emotions and descriptions with a writing group I am with. This is beautiful and sad... You always get me Aslan. Write on. |
| Mistress of Eternity 2006-11-30 ch 1, | abuseLeft me utterly breathless. Powerful, beautiful and genius formatting. -Anna |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2006-11-30 ch 1, | abuseOh, just tragic and beautiful. It's different than a lot of what I've seen, and that's always exciting to see. I almost want to cry, this is so sad. You have fabulous imagery, and that ending is just killer. Wonderful job. Keep writing! :) |
| ode to a firefly 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseSo sad, but so beautiful at the same time. Great job with the formatting - not too much, just the right amount. ♥Christine |
| mistressKC 2006-11-08 ch 1, | abusewow... just wow. This was amazing in the way that it conveys genuine emotion through the grace of words. Good job! Keep on writing. |
| Aerin 2006-11-08 ch 1, anon. | abusethis is really powerful. honestly the imagry is so amazing. it captures everything so well in such a small space. great job. |
| primal injection 2006-11-08 ch 1, | abuseThis was a very vivd piece. The images I get from this will stay with me for a while. good poem |
| fairytale failure 2006-11-07 ch 1, | abuseIt reminds me of when they have like a car crash scene in a movie and they go through it in tableau, i.e. in still pictures. The line that stood out to me in here was "but if time spins backwards maybe we’ll notice the ashes before we’ve burned." I just thought that was a great idea. |
| Crossing the Rubicon 2006-11-06 ch 1, | abuseI love hte image of the glass falling broken-hearted. I nearly choked on "let.me.go." |
| teh tarik 2006-11-06 ch 1, | abusemorbidly beautiful. i love your words - they're just perfect. |
| Luneko 2006-11-05 ch 1, | abuseThis is very beautiful and sad. I can see it, feel it. "glass like glitter on the street" ... beautiful. |