Reviews for Coffee Lace - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Coffee Lace

Basic Ignorance 2008-03-23 ch 1,	abusethis is an interesting poem i especially like the last stanza it certainly paints a picture but it is a little hard to decipher the story
lomz 2008-02-23 ch 1,	abusei like this possibly more than some of the other stuff of yours i've read - it's simple but written beautifully and it all comes together in the last stanza question though about coffee lace? i get the impression that you don't mean something like her teeth are laced with coffee.
Kazuki Mishima 2007-07-01 ch 1,	abuseThis piece is a great portrait of a Monday morning. Personally, I'd try to do something crazy with the capitalization here, but that's just me.
xDancingintheRainx 2007-04-02 ch 1,	abuseI really enjoyed this piece. The imagery was excellent and you worded this piece so gracefully. After I finished reading it, I wanted to read it again. I especially loved the last six lines. You made such an everyday scene seem so beautiful and delicate. Lovely job!
ronshaberry 2007-02-03 ch 1,	abuseHello, hello again! So I like how you play with words and phrases of the norm... flipping the around, tweaking them. Such as - "newest paper" "tell the time for running late". I especially like the latter that I pointed out, it kind of gives me the feeling of the character... She's delicate, she's calm, she's authoritative enough to be able to even tell of time. Awesome! One funny break I found was "fingertips chilled/having to scour the" between chilled and having. I mean, your whole poem is pretty consistent with the being grammatically correct, then you spring such an abrupt fragment thing on me! I might suggest adding an "at" or something after chilled... Well, you don't have to take my suggestion. Still, it's something you might like to look at and maybe adjust. Well, I really did enjoy this one. It has such the monday-morning-and-coffee feeling. It has at once a conciseness (is that right? oh well) and chill thing to it that definitely am very appreciative of.
bitterlyysweetchoco 2007-01-10 ch 1,	abuseNice and simple! I like this one. Not anything bad to say about this peice so... loved it...ciao
Alexis Albery 2006-12-03 ch 1,	abuseThis is a very pretty piece you have here. It's very simple and bare yet very delicate and full of imagery. Good job.
Dani P 2006-11-30 ch 1,	abuseI really enjoyed this poem. It was written in such a way so it flows, nothing cut up about it. Great work, I love your style
Unready 2006-11-10 ch 1,	abusehm--I'd like the final stanza more if it was just a straight haiku, with just 5 syllables instead of the 6 you have there. I won't go into any analysis having learned my lesson, and I suppose you're content with the standard Fictionpress "It was good" review. And now, having thought about it, I really don't like the errors, stupid, stubborn me. Thanks for the criticism.
Talyth 2006-11-07 ch 1,	abuse:) This is very delicate and... how to say it. "Complete"? It's very self-contained, I mean. Just a little vignette. I think the last stanza is what pulls it together that way. Hehe... I have to admit though, that I shuddered when I read "monday morning" (don't we all =P). I think that that effect works well though, with the poem. Kind of jarrs you back to reality, after such an ethereal description. The contrast is striking. And thanks for the review. I happened to delete that poem though. I only salvaged one phrase. Anyway, keep up the beautiful writing.
lackluster 2006-11-06 ch 1,	abusethe summary is what made me read this, because people watching is fun, even though it really isn't about that. anyway, this has a really great rhythm to it. i love the first stanza the most.

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