This story is just great. I can’t of one thing I’d suggest you improve (at least in chap. 1) I’ll read more when I have some time. S.S. Dailey told me you were good about returning reviews and I was wondering if you would review my Civil War novel?

No...you can't stop there. Please, please, please put Tale 2 up. Excellent story.

Danielle Thamasa

Wow...I think you're trying to give me a heart attack while I read this story.

Well, on to the next chapter.

Danielle Thamasa

Oh...my... ... WOW! You know how much I love this story. I think Tahsh is my favorite character.

Danielle Thamasa

Whoa...this was really really good. I saw a few spelling mistakes here and there, but otherwise, quite good. I want to read the rest of it!

Hm. It spiralls it fliesz and its currently ending on a low. Will watch with awe.

wow. nice. I really like that. ::))

Well that was interesting. I know I wouldn't want a crow marking me for sacrifice. Poor Nea. I love Shari's dance...then again I've always loved Fire Elementals; they're my favorite.

I really can't wait to see where this story heads next. It is vivid, descriptive, and absolutely ADDICTING! I WANT MORE!

Great work

Danielle Thamasa

Another excellent chapter. One thing I noticed though and thought I needed to point out was that lightning is not spelled lightening.

Wow...I didn't see that coming. I can't believe what Baedia did. It definitely makes things interesting.

Danielle Thamasa

Paragraph 4: you wrote 'Shari, her, and Rasha' ...to make it grammatically correct it should be 'she, Shari, and Rasha'

When Tahsh walked in you wrote 'looking totally discussed' I think you mean 'disgusted'

Interesting, I loved the Elemental duel between the three children. Sometimes it is easy to forget that Anyia and Rasha are only eight years old. They seem to be so much older.

Danielle Thamasa

YAY! I love the old man! lol. Just one thing to point out...four paragraphs before the old man sings the song you wrote 'they Servants;' I think you meant 'the Servants.'

Great job. You are very detailed in your descriptions. I hope Lunalea and Shalden grow to love each other as any normal couple in our world does before they marry.

Danielle Thamasa

P.S. If you want to get more reviews you might want to change your review settings to allow anonymous reviews.

Nice chapter. A few things I need to point out. When Baedia runs in you wrote 'loose' instead of 'lose.' Then in the next to last paragraph of the chapter you spelled minutes, 'minuets.'

Otherwise great job. I know I would have a very difficult time staying in the dialect.

Danielle Thamasa

I was wondering when the master would come in and break this up. This truly could have been a messy situation. I would think that Anyia would have real trouble with lighting a candle, because she is a water mage. Oh well.

There was a lot going on here, and there is a mild confusion on my part as to who did what. I like the little angst in Tahsh, though. I guess he is a fellow student among them. I remember you mentioning him in the last chapter or one of the previous ones. I read too much, and that is my problem.

This line: "Tahsh walked in as she thought this, looking totally discussed", you mean 'digusted', I think.

This line:" “Never mind. Is Shalden around?” all three of them pointed over to a little notch in the garden vines around a bench". Start a new sentence after the quote.

I am not all together this morning, so I am surprised I caught any grammarical mistakes at all.

Indeed he's not an ordinary man!

I am glad that Lunalea and Shalden get along so far and they aren't instatnly revolted by each other. Indeed, I would imagine that that was a terrifying experience for all involved.

I would have thought that Lunalea would be more foreign looking. You did say that she took on human form, but I don't know. I would have thought that there would be a few quirks to her appearance. I was expecting her feet to be hooves. The horn seems to be an important part of the being. Maybe she would maintain the horn, yet, youo still make her beautiful around it. It would have been really strange indeed, and I guess I am being too cruel to Shalden on this.

I like the little story in the middle of this. Folktales added in always add such flavor to a story. I didn't think that there would be much argument about the choice of Rasha's mate . . . or the princess'. The old man was an interesting case as well.