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| Suze-Booze 2007-06-20 ch 1, | abuse'...she had discovered, was an excellent way to get people to leave you alone...' you should say 'her' instead of 'you' in this situation (since it isn't first person narrative) 'surrounded by forest and plants' -- go with ; thick shrubbery instead. i like the whole 'we' thing, though. Another thing. the young guy she meets makes the story a little too predictable. it's obvious that the two will fall in love with each other, or something. u might wonna be more discreet when introducing a hero to a heroine. |
| Steel 2007-04-18 ch 5, anon. | abused00d this a good chapter - the plot thickens! I do admire the way that the patients work together though. |
| Steel 2007-04-18 ch 4, anon. | abuseAm I glad that you updated or am I glad?! I can't wait until the next chapter! |
| TheRedBandit 2007-04-03 ch 5, | abuseGreat story so far! I only have one question. In the first chapter you referred to Indigo as 'anti social ten-year-old self'. But then in later chapters, when referring to everyone, you called them 'teenagers'. I'm just a bit confused about that, but otherwise, your story is amazing. I can't wait to figure out who did it! The-Red-Bandit |
| Steel 2007-04-01 ch 3, anon. | abuseAre you going to carry this on? Its wicked. |
| Steel 2007-04-01 ch 2, anon. | abuseI like this. It reminds me of certain people... =) |
| Steel 2007-04-01 ch 1, anon. | abuseHey d00d this is cool. Keep it going. |
| clooless 2007-01-20 ch 3, anon. | abuseOHOHOHH! NICe CHAPPIE emy! yayayayay you could get this published for real i bet! lemme guess...is peter Pascy?? and KAssidy is Casey? Am I Ariana? ;) |
| Tryphosa Constance 2007-01-20 ch 3, | abuseawesome my love. |
| Marion B. Graze 2006-12-06 ch 2, | abuseI'ts alright. You really should finish it |
| Tryphosa Constance 2006-12-02 ch 2, | abuseI didn't say I doubted you, Love? Anyways! It's very good and funny! Heh... I love it... If anyone is reading this review... I'm Kassidy!! Well.. That's not my real name but you get the point... XD |
| clooless 2006-12-01 ch 2, anon. | abuseYAY! wootwoot who am I? |
| illegally_insane 2006-11-10 ch 1, anon. | abusekeep going. it's gewd |
| Tryphosa Constance 2006-11-09 ch 1, | abuseGood!! I love you so much! It's so god!! |
| clooless 2006-11-07 ch 1, | abuseYOYO, you better update soon if you know what's good for you! |