FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Lurid Black 2008-01-11 ch 1,  | abuseSweet, its well written, words chosen with deep thought, its pulsing with emotion, no improvement needed, great poem, keep writing... and i'll keep reading! ~Lurid~ |
| Robin-no-ouji 2007-09-15 ch 1, | abuseBeautiful poem! I think it speaks for many people out there. I love how you created some interesting kind of tension the way you split the verses up. One second I thought I knew what the following verse would be about, the next I was surprised by a sudden change in tone. :) |
| chris 2006-12-09 ch 1, anon. | abuseHey --nice poem you have here. You do make me sense the longing and emptiness you speak of. I almost sense the struggle to tell this truth that you can't tell...it seems that the poem in of itself is a representation of that, a speech that the speaker strains to get out. Nice effect. : ] I didn't understand the word "longiness" in line 14. Also, is your use of capitalization in some places and not in others deliberate (e.g., you begin some sentences without caps, the capitalization of the word "All" in line 16 [which I found very interesting])? All in all, very nice work : ] |
| moonsliver86 2006-12-07 ch 1, | abuseimpressive work |
| FutureActress 2006-11-07 ch 1, | abuseAw I really enjoyed reading this, I love the way it all comes together, Nicely done! |
| anti trends 2006-11-07 ch 1, | abusevery nice i like the msg your sending lots of ppl can relate. hahaha i know this sounds straight forward or deserves a "easier said then done" saying but JUST DO IT, haha ps: check some of my work need a lil help since im a lil new |
| rose 2006-11-07 ch 1, anon. | abusecute lily or u should put it in the c2 list :P |