|Reviews for Madrugada|
| yayawhynot89 3/12/08 . chapter 66
O Love this fic! More Please :D
| dani-sgga 3/11/08 . chapter 66
WAS SHE OFFERING SEX? WHAT! lol and here i thought aleda was innocent P... hahah well, shes a go getter that one ;)
anyway, joke gone... i have to say i'm a little disappointed with this chapter... i'm hoping you will have more prom/friend related things later. first, why were they sneaking in? and two, ryan has never been to a prom before, yet he made none of his typically sarcastic comments or anything. also, mara and val were such a big part of aleda's life before and well, aleda has changed a lot but she spoke with them for 3 seconds and then that's it? nothing else? no poking fun of ryan or rushing to the washroom to tell aleda how hot he is and to hear more details about him?
i don't know... i just expected... more. it was the first time aleda's "two lives" came together and i found it so... anticlimactic.
sorry this is a mostly negative review... there were some good things, like this new side to aleda ;)(lol love how she was grinding against him just to get a reaction out of him... i have to say, i'm quite surprised -and a little giggly!) and ryan being all sweet and protective.
PS - so now shes turning 18 in 3 days? oh my... craziness! does this mean nate is younger than aleda or was he called already?
| dani-sgga 3/1/08 . chapter 65
ok... so... i'm very excited they're still going to prom and that aleda's dad has taken the first step towards non-stupidity (aka. start trusting aleda)!
i find that this chapter is a continuation of the last one... so when u go back to revise, i suggest considering making these 2 chapters into one!
also... a few things i found didn't make much sense to me (they're small, though! don't worry!) when ryan and aleda come in to the house there are "embarrassing and hurried noises"... but it makes me wonder, what exactly where they doing (pls don't answer this, i really don't need to know!) if aleda's mom is pregnant (and quite a bit along, right?)? and then later, aleda's dad admits to have been super worried about her cuz he thought she was the one in the hospital... so if they were worried why were they up in their room "making noises" and not by the front door pacing?- seems more likely to me, anyway!
apart from that little thing... good chapter! nate is stupid, i've decided... he honestly got in a car crash cuz he was trying to show of?- bet he feels amazing now! wonder what people are going to say when he comes back to school and hes perfectly fine?
anyway... yay! i want it to be next friday already... i want to know what happens at prom! oh, quick question! in how long is aleda turning 18?
| urbanfictionalist 2/26/08 . chapter 64
hey i re-read chpt 63 and of course i enjoyed it. i also enjoyed this chapter. Im wondering how nate crashed anyway. But i liked the chapters and i cant wait for the next
| Kaoz 2/23/08 . chapter 64
Woa, Woa! What, no prom?
N how does that work? the no hospital bit man I am so confused here. A little more explaining would help thoug...hint-hint )
| dani-sgga 2/22/08 . chapter 64
hey! sorry i didn't review the last chapter.
i don't really have much to say about this one either, except that i'm kind of disappointed that they didn't go to the prom. i was REALLY looking forward to seeing aleda's friends meet ryan. hopefully they still can do that. if not, i'll be a sad camper in deed!
otherwise, great work...! i was quite impressed!
| urbanfictionalist 2/9/08 . chapter 63
i liked it i cant wait for the next chapter. this one was mildly amusing. i hope u update soon
| ammi 2/8/08 . chapter 63
Bo! Hiss, his! No half-chapters!
_ Cute. Prom will be... interesting. Muahahaha.
| dani-sgga 2/3/08 . chapter 62
alright... so i have 2 technicalities to correct. one... why does ryan have his bike if he came with talia? i don't think talia has EVER gotten on ryan's bike before, i don't see why she would this time (and for that matter, how was she able to leave if ryan had been her ride?)
second... it's about the spanish dialogue. just 2 things... it might depend on which country the spanish comes from, but i have never heard "verde" to be dirty... verde to me is and will always be green (i'm from venezuela... so maybe this is slang in another country, in which case... never mind!). if i were writing this, i would say "pervertido" (literally: perverted). i think it fits the situation quite well, too (aka: perverted old man). second thing, when ryan says that if she wants him to be dirty, she only needs to ask. i believe it would sound better if you change the verb conjugations so it's like this "si tú quieres que yo sea 'verde' [...] solo necesitas proguntarmelo."
so those are my correction... otherwise, great chapter! i'm quite enjoying how u are making ryan's and aleda's relationship evolve. great job with that! and also, i think that even though this chapter is short, it's a good chapter on its own... because i think that the end of last chapter was pretty great (with the kiss) and to add more text after that would take away from the scene. so yea... those are my 2 cents!
great job! be catching u next friday ;)
| urbanfictionalist 1/30/08 . chapter 61
ive been extremely lazy and havent felt like reviewing so im doing so now. I've enjoyed the chapter and i think that leda shouldve slap the crap out of nate. hes such a jerk. but yea i cant wait for the next chapter
| ammi 1/25/08 . chapter 61
Oh snap linz, this is pure awesome. The entire chapter came out beautifully.
I wonder if anything will come of nate mentioning the feeder nest at school... hmm, oh, the speculation.
to recap: best. Chapter. yet.
| dani-sgga 1/25/08 . chapter 61
nothing to say right now.
liked the fight
loved aleda being suggestive and ryan barely being able to control himself!
the bonding explanation was good
so props! ) now... GO SLEEP MISSY! (i would rather u update later than sleep 3 hours and a half!)
| Kaoz 1/25/08 . chapter 61
Dios, pero que no lleguen su Papi. If he finds them in a compromising situation he's really gonna want to kill Ryan.
Hey, I like the last part, where you describe the bonding... that's real pretty what he tells her.
Wish guys would really say stuff like that when it matters.
| dani-sgga 1/19/08 . chapter 60
sorry... not much time for a very long review... so it'll be a short one!
first: absolutely love ryan and aleda now being together...officially!... though i'm very curious about this whole bonding thing? what it is, how other hunters see it, what it means? is it because of all of ryan blood now flowing through aledas veins, their emotions, or something else?... which basically means... u better be explaining it in an up coming chapter or i will not be a happy camper!
now... on to the whole nathan thing... i'm very excited they finally broke up... not so much about HOW, though... first, i think that when u go back to revise the chapters, u should split this one into 2 (have the whole aleda-ryan-parents thing in one and then the school stuff on the other)... just so that u don't have two "arguments" in one.. it's too much, you know? second... i have to say that i'm not quite sure i like the fact that nathan was so forgiving about going out hunting and then asking her out that night... i feel like after all this time of you playing into his jealousy, it should have come through more... which leads me to the fact that i was expecting a bigger explosion from nathan than a "it's him! i was right all along, admit it!" their previous arguments have all been in public areas and pretty loud... so i have to admit that when i realized you were going to have the "break up" at school... i expected it to be in the caf... with a raged-filled nathan and aleda a bit angry at nathans behaviour and words... all the while them having to watch their words when they refered to hunting things and aledas friends wondering who this "ryan" they haven't heard of
oh and look at that? turns out it WAS a long review... anyway, i'm very happy about ryan and aleda... ooh and that kiss they had in the street... ;) lol i like it when men and gentle yet forceful kissers... very sexy... so congrats on that ;)...
till next time!
| ammi 1/18/08 . chapter 60
- I hope you and Right are very happy together
best line ever.