I like the contrast to her life before and after Cory's death, and how profoundly it affected her. The guilt and the loss were very real. And I like how, from her point of view, no one else really understood the pain. The strangers in the living room and her mother's line "Why don't you run upstairs and..." really put her at a loss.

It did feel that his suicide happened quite abruptly though, without explanation. I don't know if that was intentional. Also, it would have been nice for some closure on her part at the ending, but that was a personal thing. Really, the piece was moving and, and the visual of his death put me on edge. Really good job.

&love, Scarlett

aw. its beautiful.

The ending...it completes the story rather nicely. Beautiful description and writing. I'm curious about what happened between Clare and Cory though...it seemed, so... abrupt. Nothing leading to the event, just bam and Cory's gone.

Also, Clare's mother kinda ticked me off. The way she said that, "Why don't you run upstairs and..." makes me feel as if she doesnt care at all. but then, if it was intentionally done that way, its your writing and I'm fine with that :) I love how the story always put me on the edge though, very detailed and breathtaking. Nice work.

I love the line 'gaggle of giggling girls', cool.

Good story, I like your writing style.

Alan.