What the **? Ok, I usually don't leave flames, but just when we were starting to see some true character development you push Valdrin over the edge and kill them both. One, thing I've noticed is that when you create attachment to main characters and then try to switch the pov to someone else entirely to make them the focus, whether it's their kid or friend or in this case some random-** assassin that we'd never even heard of before you got frustrated with your writers block and took it out on your characters, it loses interest and ** people off.

I was ready to add this story to my recommended reading section because it really was an amazing story until the main characters unceremoniously died.

I think I can see where you're going with Treli (I mean, how she relates to Jaidev and Valdrin) but you just killed them off so abruptly! I know it's really hard to write about character you hate, but some sort of transition would have been nice! I know it's been almost two years since you last updated this, which could mean you haven't looked at it since then, but, as much as I absolutely am enjoying this story, I think you killed them off way too quickly and without a very good reason or preamble. They weren't even given time to develop fully.

That being said, I definitely look forward to reading the rest of this, because it's very interesting and beautifully written.

he dies?! just like that!?!

Aside from the massive disapointment i am currently suffering, as well as a nagging feeling that you simply got desperate/couldnt be bothered to develop the potentially complex feelings Val and Jav might develop, I must say that it is way too abrupt - the two sections dont link and simply are not cohesive.

of course, the plot is however you wish to develop it, and i am not against the plot as such, but it would be nice if you took a little time to link them. otherwise i must admit that i must simply remain disillusioned.

on a happier note, i think that your writing was very convincing and has an interesting concept - of a main character who is delerious most of the time :D

anyway, thanks for putting this up where i can admire + enjoy it, i look forward to reading more of your work.

Hey, this is the 70th review.

I really enjoy reading this fic back to back till chapter 15 but my Gush! why did you kill them? I mean you can't just kill them like that! I was dreaming a lot to see how these two are gonna get together and stuff,...

But changing the plot like this was just weird! O.o

I mean, come on, you love them for 15 chapters, you just can't hate them like that!

so can you reconsider and write this again after chapter 15 and wouldn't kill them this time?! :D Please please ...

Anyway, I really love this fic, the first 15 chapters though! ^_~

Thanks for sharing! ;)

The remaining chapters were a bit weird since you decided to kill the main characters which basically attracted the readers to finish this. Their deaths were too abrupt to be justified for me and I hope you'll start another story rip off with a different twist as to what may happen to Valdrin and Jaidev. That would've been interesting also. Nonetheless, I prefer the first few chapters that contained the main characters. I'll add this to my fave list for creating the lovely main characters though.

wtf?... "i got bored and killed everyone. the end." it was almost a waste of time reading this. it's like if you were to start reading a story about the color blue and then suddenly, for no reason and very abruptly, it morphed into a story about the queen of england. it just makes no logical sense. and you, as the author, should have a better attention span than to just dislike your characters and decide to kill them, and then just throw some crap together to meet your word count. very lame.

Usually I don't bother reviewing stories, even those I enjoy, but this one really bugged me.

You had a good thing going, and then abruptly kill off the main characters and introduce a character that had no previous mention. What was the point of the first fifteen chapters? You create interesting characters with complex pasts, and then kill them off before anything is resolved.

The introduction of the new character is the signal of this stories decline - the plot goes to hell. The story isn't half as interesting as it was before. It really seems as if the plot went in a random direction in order to quickly end the story.

I guess that's what's to be expected with a NaNoWriMo story. I would love to see a re-make of the story, with a better thought out ending.

Ah everything was perfect about this story until this chapter haha... I can't believe you killed off Valdrin :(

I'm still in denial that you killed Val. I keep on expecting him to show up. :(

*sigh* What the hell... this story better have a damn good ending to make up for the deaths of Valdrin, Jaidev, and Kyan from a earlier chapter... >3> I guess Treli is okay too... I just think that it was a bit to abrupt to kill off your characters so quickly.

...
*pointed glare*
sorry, but I'll be taking my cookies back now.

Well...
He seems like an **.

Love it.
You really are talented with fight scenes.
~YOU GET ANOTHER COOKIE!~
Careful or you'll get fat.

Thank you.
This scene of hopelessly romantic (god-sent) drivvle earns you a cookie.
Congrats on the cookie.

Damn.
He is one crazed up little fruit loop.
Do it again and suffer!
~Huggles from the clan of the strait-jacket~